firsts

Christmas season - first christmas at 3M!!! can you believe it? the people are so cool... every desk you will find gifts and cards from colleagues just next desk...

Christmas evee - first christmas eve with Yihui at his place... finishing pizzas and watching dvd... uber cool! just the 2 of us....

Christmas time - first time ice-skating... i really enjoyed it! did not feel as graceful as i imagine though (this is bad, bec in the v first place... i did not imagine myself to be graceful... sigh) but i m so glad that Yi hui likes it too!!! :) 1 step closer to our white christmas?

Boxing day - first boxing day with logcake and fruit basket at 3M.... shake hands with big shots!!!! (haha... okok so thats a little pathetic)

29 dec - first leave of absence from 3M... going Genting with Yi hui.... our FIRST overseas trip... i wonder how it will turn out.... you know what they say... it is either make or break.... and currently, with my sickly body... (running nose, sore throat)... it is looking bad but well mind over matter eh?

wishing everyone a lovely christmas time ( i know im late but better than never)... may your life be full and rich... may it be full of nice surprises and miracles and esp. miracles...

Batam Trip was Shiok! So is meeting my friends

the team building trip was really fruitful!!!! and i had lots of fun... in fact i think all of us had! which is a rare and much treasured thing. Thanks to C.S.N for their effort!!! you guys are a great team!

love my christmas exchange gift!!!! Thanks E.
Really enjoyed the night cap with L.M... i really got to know you better!!! :)
and u arent that scary afterall... hee

Met up with Heidi and Nuan and it was really nice... i miss them... and it seems like there will be NO christmas party sad... and i feel bad for forgetting heidi's bday (pls forgive me gal) k?
we drank a bit... or you should say i drink a bit... bec i began to feel that my throat area is v itchy and when i left Blu Jaz Cafe.. and when into the light... i was shock to see that i am red!!!! luckily, the redness and itchyness fade off soon... before i reach Yishun.
Wonder what happen?

going Batam for team bonding

hi guys... will be going Batam tomorrow for a 2 day 1 night team bonding session....

But that is not the main story...
the main story is Grace caused lots of trouble and is sorry for it....
I will never do it again!!!!!
Made my boss really upset and cause my colleague to kena with me... haiz...
i feel so guilty man.

Twilight

The book that spawn the movie that spawn my buying behavior for the books.... watched it... not bad really... it is a not so typical story line i would say....anyways... i got pals that just touch down a few days ago... cant wait to meet up with YH (not my bf)...

thats it... got to do stuff now

conversations in a coffee shop

my team and i had a sumptuous dinner at Mellben at AMK. 1 butter crab, 1 chill crab, 1 crab beehoon soup, drunken prawn, fried chicken, mantou and scallop with broccoli. damn nice! total with drinks round off to $300 for 8 person. who paid? technically it is my supervisor :) hee

then after that... my colleagues and i went for coffee... :) at one of the coffee shops in AMK. haha of cos no one drank coffee... it is just a term we use. we talked about work... a little... and about the more fun stuff... we talked about other people.... and D&D... and then i cant rem how... but we talk about fortune telling... and i learnt so much, so much about them... In relating their experiences with Chen shifu, i am present with bits and pieces of their life... of their past, of their current worries and their dreams and goals... and i also get to know more about their character...

how unexpected, that re-telling an experience one had with a fortune teller could be so revealing yet captivating too for the people listening... i feel as if i had just watch a great movie or as if i had read a good book.... i really enjoyed it.. of cos i wont be repeating what was said there and then... :) at least not on my blog...

anyways, i feel that i am more included after going with them...and that i got to know them better in some ways... it was great :)

the entry caused by seeing something i rather not

blogging on someone else's computer... feels like im using someone else's undergarments... awkward.

but anyway.. that was just a side note to myself... that maybe it isnt so wise to do it.. fiddling with someone else's private property... hm... can you guess it? yup.... i saw somethings i rather not see. Hrumph...

so let me write a little...since my fingers are already in motion...

the reason why people write. 

1. some write as an outlet... they want to tell people, the power of the pen/press whatever... they hope to convince you of what they have to say, to make you react and etc. etc. etc.

2. some write as a record... they want to look back in time and see how they were.. these people are mostly thinking aloud... 

of cos, most people do not fall in such nice category.. they just do both/one or the other while they write... also... they dont think much... about why the write... we just do.

i look thr my writings in the old blog as well as the new... and find that i have often write more as a means of recording my feelings... throughout the time... i have always wonder if people actually read my blog... now i know a few does... i secretly wish my blog is well-read thr but i can live even if it isnt. 

my writings consist of histories of my life, my musing on life and death (just some less lighthearted entries), trying my clumsy hands at poetry... and other even more random stuff... i am no J.K Rowling... no editors at Cleo/Times... not any poet striving for fame. but i know... my writings are honest... like me. lay my pumping heart in hand for you to plunge a knife thr- kinda honest...

the angst stage has past me by.... maybe with the years in my life that begins with "1"... the incoherent yet dramatic prose and vague unfulfilled sad stories with no leading man/woman... so young... so long ago... cant imitate... can only be myself...

what i saw.... not impt to you... it is something for me to resolve... do not worry your pretty heads over me my dears... because grace is strong... she will make do and make do happily... because she is well supported by each and everyone of you... im lucky i have you.. do you know? if no one tells you that... let me shout it to you "I AM SO FORTUNATE TO HAVE FRIENDS LIKE YOU IN MY LIFE!" you guys are the greatest... thank you.

now, i will have to pull myself together and surf this tsunami! ( surf boards ready?)

feeling ill...

the kind of illness medicine cant cure... i wish i was the old me... the me that break down easily... that cry my heart out and over useless bums like the number of useless bums out there.
i dreamt a horid dream last night... of tears and heartache, of rejection and fear... of loneliness and anger... and when i woke up, i realised it wasnt a dream.... my eyes were swollen, my heart heavy, and i was still alone... (for some things, waking up is not enough... you have to move on.)

luckily... there were friends, friends who come when i call... friends who just share my time and my space... my heartbeat and my silence.

i have to be brave, braver then him... to make the decision i know is coming.

randomly selected posts from my hp's note function 2

22 Nov - my weather. my roof shoulders the abuse of rain, the lashes by the clouded sky, the verbal profanity of the gods. While the gashes of the brittle wind cause my window to be hurling by its hinge. stepped out, i saw blue skies, dry pavements and happy streeters. none of whom saw my weather.

25 Oct-
i noticed.
he sings like a book,
harmonize and sway
as if string and wired to the mixer
like a professional,
he sings for his food.

Troubles

One. they happen
two. they happen all at once and/or one after another
three. they happen to me
four. FREQUENTLY

honestly... now.. even my relationship crisis seems like a small problem...
Ann gal... thanks for meeting me at Suntec... Ron, if you see this... you missed out big time man!
Jeslyn... have a safe journey to Taiwan!!! have fun and im so jealous...(will tell u all about my relationship problem when you are back.... most prob will have a big change.... haiz)

So... this is life huh....

there are sweet posts and ugly ones...

why cant good news/ posts last longer?

He will be ( a super sweet post)

His band performance... i am so glad to catch it... because it was so great.. He was so great... (he still is)... and he will be better when he is older...that is something to look fwd to... isnt that great? :)

I am so happy to see him happy... to see him enjoying himself... despite that i actually arrived at SIS Big Steps for Starry Starry Nite 09 pissed. He most likely did not / have forgotten about this. Tired and hungry.. and weather suck.... not in the best of form i guess.. dinner was half a bag of chocolates.. and even tat dint help.

BUT, he did some things RIGHT.... (i better list them to better illustrate how many things he did right)
He came to fetch me even though he was supposed to be taking a break..
found me a place among his frens so tat i wont be too lonely...
make quite a long trip to keep my shoulder bag...
came back and join me... when he could choose not to
Brought water for me...
sat with me despite that it was making his back ache...
HE PERFORM FOR ME (of cos.... he performed for every1 else too)
he allow me to take time to fill my stomach despite his exam tmr morning
held me as i sleep in the taxi (he slept too but that is fine)
sent me home first

But the most wonderful thing... is the way he looks at me from the stage, and how he held my view, smiled for me... and dedicate "I'll be greatest fan of your life" to me with the raise of his arms and the assuring smile... i wonder if he still remembers that he is on one of my fav smile list...

I guess i have to write this out because i do not want to forget today... in a time where strife and conflict is so common... i can only try to hold on and rem the good in life. (no photos bec i have no camera... plus dun think i will have hands to hold it... my hands still tingle due to all the crazy clapping and my voice still weak due to the mad screams...)

But overall.... i feel like im falling in love again to him.... now... its all depends on whether he will fall in love with me again....

dreaming of china and meeting friends

i dreamt of china... or, to be more specific.. i was walking down a street in China...
maybe because i had sichuan steamboat that dinner... hee....
it was dinner for 2... me and Yi hui.... i would say it is not bad.. but of cos, the one in china was bigger, better and cheaper... like duh.. but im quite amazed to find that the soup is around the same as in GZ...

also, i met 2 friends that i have not seen for some time.. and they were amazed that i was backed... hahaha.... hello? but i have been back since Sept.... but still,,,, im so happy to see ya!!!!!
Tam Xinyi and Ivan Tan Yao Ming!!!! :) feel so lucky... haha

moreover... i just found 2 friends on Facebook... Ivy tan!!!! and Fang Yin!!! my god.... so my primary school friends are still alive! haha... miss ya man!

i know

"i know" 2 words but a depth full of meaning...

i know you guys dont want me to write another heavy entry... well... i have wanted to write some stuff a few days back... but i cant seem to write down anything then...

i know that life is mostly good but.... it sure can test your belief in that.

i know that some people fleet in and out of my life... their transient presence in my life were written in the stars... these people's influences however were not tied to the duration of the time we were together... i will most probably rem them even in my deathbed... however, i also know that some people are meant to walk beside me throughout my life's journey... their influences... most likely made me who i am... and mold me to become who i will be.
now, do i know who are those people who will just see me thr a part of life and who are those who will be the ones who will make up a part of my life?

I guess thats why the smart people out there dont open their hearts to others...

walking in the rain

why do people walk in the rain?
some, like me simply like being hit by raindrops
some, like me simply find it more efficient not to hold an umbrella
some, like me simply could not find an umbrella,
some, like me like to play with/in/among water

some, like me.... want to hid my tear-drops with raindrops
thats why they walk in the rain...

i love the stretch from SOB to City hall MRT... the stretch along SMRT building...
i always feel so much while walking along that stretch... happy, sad, in a hurry... heck-care... serious, playful and even... when i am a wreck..

randomly selected posts from my hp's note function

19 oct 6.24pm - i honestly dun noe if i should savour my happiness now bec it seems that the end is near. And if that de case should i be preparing? to began erecting walls and canons for a defensive strategy? but to do that isnt that a sign of no faith? is this happiness? or just the lull before de storm?

16 oct - its a educating thing to watch. to be in audience of a birth of something in high expectation. A band of nerves, flying over and across de room bouncing off the walls. Pick de strings as you would your steps, careful and with precision. bec every note is mote if it does not stand out against de noise.

4 oct - the morning after, the sky and earth clash, it was Quiet that reign. it was Silence that maintain the peace. but for how long it will rule will depends on the mercy of the gods and the strength of their love.

10 sept - a friend's joke - the gentle poke, create an irreversible change, resulting in an awkward situation.

playing 2nd fiddle

sad and almost ashamed to say that... i hate to play 2nd fiddle.. and i guess... i just am too egoistic to want to do that... at least when it comes to my relationship with my bf....

hate to lose... esp to a hobby... finally understood how he felt when i have a book beside me.... i guess... that i have no choice now.. but to quickly get my hands on a book... so that i can pretend that i am not being neglected......

xiao ting.. i thought of u today.. when i hear 朋友 on the radiowaves... we spent so much time in KTV and we sang this song so often that i immediately thought of u guys when it played... wishing all of you happy and hearty....

the thing about social networking websites....

is that... some can really get addict to it.... im not talking about myself.. my updates tend to be really really old...

it is really effective in that many people can immediately get to know what is going on in ur life... except.. this doesnt really help if the people most impt to you are not as into such thing as compared to others (the more general people...)

So here is my lament about 1 social networking website.... bec i do not use the networking services... i tend to miss out on what is going on in my bf's life... and he doesnt really like to tell me how he is feeling except to update "What are you doing now" every time... so this gf (Me) do not know as much about her bf as other people who are whoring on the website does...

should i feel ashamed? hm.. honestly... i dont know.... wat do u guys think?

the almost never - 5th Anniversary

it almost never come into existence... this anniversary of ours... but i am very proud and thankful that we have managed another year...

i have always maintained that anniversary do not need to be emphasised too much.... no need to much fanfare... expensive gifts etc.... but after coming so close to not reaching our 5th year together... i really have to say that i was wrong... not utterly wrong but still... much mistaken.
bec.. it is not easy to stay together for 1 year... esp. if people travel or change or adapt their lifestyle... thus... it is good to remind ourselves and each other that... well done...you have survived the arguments, tempers, doubts and neglect.... and have held on to the happiness, fun, laughter, cosiness, companionship and love.

of course some of you loverbirds out there celebrate monthly anniversaries... weekly.... or even *gasp... daily? :) it is good to express your love all year round.... but do so within your means... and nv forget that small things can speaks loudly....

SO,... what we did today.. after work we met in SMU drop our laptops... and went to Tony Roma's... i promised him that even before i went to China... so i delivered my promise... a gd start for the next year rite? and he rem sth which i didnt think he would... which meant a lot to me.... we had ice cream for deserts... just 1 scoop - we shared.

here is wat Yihui gave me:
A card filled with message and a love voucher... :) the most (ever for him) thought-thr, meaningful present that he had ever give to me.
And i got him Armani's Diamond... it smell damn nice... PLUS he loves it too.. :) so now... we are even... he gave me a diamond before and now i gave him one too.. :)

ok... so better go to rest now.. god knows... i have v little of that these days.... filled with love.

the 3M machine

there really is a steep learning curve...
the orientation was for 1 month....
the work starts 1 week into my joining...

so that explains why my blog is not updated as frequently...

i have been thr a lot.... and not just career wise... my relationship with my bf has also changed.... it is a long story... and at this pt in time i still cant say if it is for the better... it so scary... i think... i have nv tot there could a day like that.... now i feel so unsure about everything... haiz....

so much and so little, so near and so far

the final baggage has arrived... i havent take stock of them yet but it seems that all is intact.
my first pay check from 3M has arrived too... wanted to share some of the cash with my family... by treating them to dinner yest. but no 1 cared.... so i end up spending it only on myself... Bf too busy.

ok, a quick simple down and dirty explanation of the title of this entry..
so much to say and do and so little time, got my pay... yet still in debt...
so near to people ard me... yet so freakingly far from their hearts and mind

okay... that sums up all i have to say to you... but, Yi Hui, we have to talk.

birds and the bzzz

the birds wake me up.... man.... they are a noisy bunch... you dun get that in Foshan...
1st day at work... and already im swarmed with work.... but that is a good thing too... the people at 3M are still so warm and friendly. :)

so bz im sorry if i didnt manage to meet up with you people... but i promised i will... slowly... tired... but still have some stuff that need my attention.

glad to be back

Grace returns

into the 2nd day... and already... i think the air is making me feel better...
but.. i cant say that i am total happy yet.... i have undergone so much loss... that i think it will take some time before i can get back to being happy grace.

thanks to my hon for coming to fetch me from the airport... lucky i have him when i return to an empty house... (bros and dad out... mom still in China).... met jes, liyu, tian today... thank u gals for meeting me... so sorry i didnt get anything for u guys... i didnt get anything for anybody this time... too ex and too heavy to bring back...

my trip to Yiwu (义乌) is not bad... but v tiring... bec it is more work related then vacation.... wont blog about it... u can ask me abt it another time.

will start work on Monday.... hm... went for medical today.. all fine... and got some stuffs planned... hope i will get them done real soon.

heart sick*

someone told me that i hurt people's feeling... and that im insincere about people... which makes me sad and damn pissed bec... i know that i am most sincere towards people-who i feel are worthy to be sincere too.... what you (you people... who i gave my blog address to) see is the true-blue me... i open my heart to make space for all of you... and how i wished... it is same case for you.. but... some things cant be forced... and i dun like to influence others... so i let you be.

think wat you want...
go ahead hurt my feelings...
i am silly and stupid...
but i still believe that man is worth saving.

<<带走的>>（给我南方的朋友）

带不走的是金钱。。。
带不走的是地位。。。

。。。可是。。。

带得走的是酸甜的心情。。。
带得走的是浓郁的体验。。。
带得走的是深刻的回忆。。。
带得走的是珍贵的友情。。。

。。。最后。。。

没想到的是时间的短暂。。。
会想念的是结交的朋友。。。

Details- flight details NEW!!!!

Dear all...

my flight is postphone to 11 Sept....
Flight: SQ0851
Date: 11SEP
Time (Departure at GZ): 1325
Time (Arrive at SG): 1725

Hm... great day huh....
horrified。

Details- flight details.

Flight: SQ0851
Date: 06SEP
Time (Departure at GZ): 1325
Time (Arrive at SG): 1725

the new guy and my first time

yup... rem prev posts... i talk about the co.'s recruitment.... yup THAT guy is hired... well... i cant blamed them for being inpatient... but... hm.... v risky.... anyways.... i have been teaching him the routine... and this week (since today is a sunday) will be all him doing the work and me monitoring his ability to handle the stuff....

okok.... boring huh... the exciting stuff... i went river rafting today... damn fun... but i heard could be better... more thrilling in other parts of china... but still it was really cool and a first for me... so yup! First time at River rafting!!! but im sure i will develop bruises in no time... at my butt and heels... strange place huh (heels)? anyway... lots of clothes to wash... things to pack and no idea where to start man!!!

"Never better" - Hermione G. (with a british accent)

yup... i think that sums up my feeling right about... now!

Never better, never more assured that my decision to leave is the right/ CORRECT one.

i know better than any1... what are the things i will miss... the things.. i may never get back unless im overseas... and i miss them sorely, pathetically.

But, to stay true to myself... to my CORE well-being....i know i have to leave. i know i am a survivor in the LONG RUN. you may think otherwise. Go ahead, i give u leave to do so.

i have never pretended to be someone who is easily understood... in fact i lamented about just the opposite...

Sorry, i dont fit a mold.

plagued even in my dreams

... my time in GZ is slipping thr my fingers and yet... i dun seem to be able to do what i really want with it.. it is just kinda weird... and i feel a puppet... can someone pls cut the freaking string?!!!!!!!
and my nights... gosh... terrible i tell u.... my dreams are on the verge of disturbing... not only do they have elements of reality in them... but they are all negativity and darkness....(read terminal and frustrating....) sheesh.... wat is with all these crap going on in my life huh?

pissed*#

Standard of Living

do you rem to story of the Ring of Gyges????
This ring supposedly could give the wearer the power of invisibility. wat it say is that when man can disregard the consequence of his action (such as not being judged etc) he will do evil...

when singaporeans leave singapore and with it (the numerous fines and laws, and watchful eyes of people who know them) do all of them seem to gain a ring of gyges?

i do not... but it is difficult i tell you.... how do you hold on to your principles and standard of living (the kind of actions you take in your daily life), when ur environment does not inhibit negative actions and there is little social disapproval when do commit these actions?

i am not defending these people who 出了家门，到别处撒野！他们真的破坏我们的形象及名誉！They should really go some corner and rot and die!!! muahahahah!!!! (creepy grace.... hahaha)

kk... gtg rest

slices of life

more updates on my life here in Foshan.... just finished watching Hellboy The March of the Golden Army.... damn nice.... but could show more of the army la... still.... cried like mad... dun noe if my eyes will swell up tmr... watch Indie 4 a few days back... yep... and still managed to catch some exciting parts of the olympics... esp. Gymastics and Basketball....watch a little of everything.. but over here... we get more China focused matches... like duh.

Met some of my colleagues during dinner... foshan is only that big... haha... nah! its bec the place we go to for meals... are quite limited... hm.... i wouldnt say it was a big deal... i mean... if it was in SG... nobody will give a *toot about it... haha but i guess in China... its quite different... it is just quite funny to me.... well... Ting has to go back early so we left before they started eating....

today... my dept began interviewing potential fillers... erm... 1 guy.... 26, married, 2-3 work experience, MBA to do my job...and i really wonder... oh well..

great times

great times are often the result of a wonderful activity... plus a great company which u carry out the activity... and such it can be referred to by the chinese as 天时地利人和！and the past 2 days can be said to be such great times during my short stay here...

as i see the end of the tunnel... i am getting a little foolish about the things i am leaving here.... my comfortable place... the lux things i do such as taking the taxi almost every time i need to go to places... the food.... fastfood more than once a week.... but more importantly... the people i have met and got to know better... the relationships... which are so short lived.... of course you cant say whether they will fade away... but across the distance and far from reach... well... you do the math...

SO, back to main topic.... Great times... Chimelong Water Park... like our Wet Wet Wild but bigger.... with a bunch of nice people.... and Karoke session till 2am to celebrate a gd friend's bday (Jes... same day as urs).... with again... a bunch of nice people (close frens too...)..
i really enjoyed those times... eye opener one like Chimelong.... i tell u the toilet/changing room... is just huge and the people are so open about some things... hahaha... and nv tot i will have so much fun drinking beer and sing karoke... haha... sang like the whole time... hahaha.... hope i didnt kill anyone with my lousy voice....

kk.... its late... and tmr there will be a meeting at 9am... only got informed on Sat night..... shity rite? plus had to go to office today to sort some data for the meeting tmr.... so ya... love u guys...

oh ya... Sg got their first medal in Olympics today from Table Tennis Ladies (group)... Silver... expected... hahaha... but still... well done team SG!

sentimental fool over China

a few people have told me that i am sentimental.... i rather not say whether that is a good thing or a bad thing. But, just leave it as something that i am...

today as i am walking home.... i suddenly felt tat i love china... or the china that i know.... Guangzhou, Guilin, Hong Kong, Wuhan... Beijing... i will miss Her and the people that i have met... on the train rides... friends' frens... friendly/helpful people.... and of course some of the people in my company (i will list u guys 1 by 1 another time.. there isnt alot anyways... i have got high standards ya...).. there is always an ugly side to things... bad people too.. in every country... but there are alot going for china... i wish things were different and i could stay happily... but that is not the case. I really hope that one day i could find my piece of china.. and i am just so envious of the Chinese for being able to call china theirs....

thank you.

So vugar

is it too much to ask for? to ask of you to understand that now is a difficult time... and tat i would really like more encouragement? i know the consequences of my actions.... though i may not show it... yes... money is an impt factor.... and i noe i have almost bankrupt the family... and we are in deep loan... i will take the necessary actions... and will bear the responsibilities... and YOU will get ur money back. i hate discussing money... it is so vugar.

Break the dam!

the breaking of a dam is normally associated with... literally.... a dam overflowing or breaking under the force/pressure of the water... duh right...

it could also mean.... an emotional upheaval, resulting in tears or outbursts.... that is what i mean... i have been reduced to such a state many a times these short months.... i know... i havent write alot... that is because i dont want to burden you - family and frens with my frustrations and misgivings... it is a typical asian behavior to not air dirty laundry (there is a lot of that) here.

i am disturb by the extent of pathetic character of some of the people here (in my office). the word here is "pathetic", not simply "bad" or "weak"... and if you know me.... people and relationships mean the most to me....that are some things... i can put up with.. and even live with... but people who lack virtues? who lack ethics? who lack heart? i had enough... it is said that the 7 closest people around you shape you... so do forgive me if i decide to get out before you could rob me and corrupt me of my goodness (even if you think i have little or it is just a weakness)

so, that is for now....(decided to write a little after another tearful event)... for the whole truth and nothing but the truth.... well... im not sure if i will end up writing that... unless...i have reasons too- another interpretation of Break the dam!

Storm inside my bedroom - A poem

A constant rumbling of thunder
Plays softly in the background
Lightning beats through dark curtains
In disco-light rhythms
I splay on my bed
My coverlet tangled
All over my body
Warmed and bothered
About the storm
Inside my bedroom

Beijing Photos 长城-慕田峪

Beijing Photos

A near by temple

With a colleague's child

鸟巢

后海- the clark quay of Beijing

全聚德 Well-known place for eating Peking Duck

Peking Duck

Beijing Roasted Duck and Quiting

Yup... it is better.... and different from the ones i have tasted in Sg.... drank chinese white wine today... 3 small cups... and was so drowsy... then we went to a bar in Hou Hai (like the clark quay in Sg) and drank a little beer.... 1/4 of the bottle.. hahaha.. im lousy....

so, for the more impt news.... i have told my boss that i am quiting... means i will be coming back to SG really soon... for good.. (or at least.... as far as i know)...

hm... there are many factors push and pull... at this moment.. all i can say is that it is a tough decision... not all will agree with me on my choice.. but i think i have made the better choice.

... do i have ur support?

2 nights in Beijing

yup.... in the capital of China... what a wonderful experience.... but v busy... slept at 2am last night... trying to get the internet up and last rehersal.... now... im so tired.... . ok got to cut it short... have to go already...

it is about losing oneself and finding oneself

its been some time.... and yet... i am still unsure if i should write.... so little updates... yet so much to tell... i just could not speak of it... i will try of course to tell u a little of what i am going thr... abstractly...

it is about losing oneself and finding oneself

it is about maintaining and maturing

it is about seeking opportunities and foregoing opportunities

it is about knowing and accepting not knowing

it is about me and other than me.

okay... so i think...now that i have bored you....

i can post some just as serious thoughts... something i hope can make you think a little harder when people tell you conventional statements...

"Why change the world to suit you, change yourself to suit the world" -says everybody
"Why change yourself to suit the world, change the world!" - says the great
(it is the cowardly and weak who will tell you to change yourself... but the promising and great will attempt to do the opposite)

"Youth is a time to earn money" -says the young
"Effective time cannot be bought by money" -says the old
(Will you regret in time?)

Think on it!

Grad Nite Photos 2 (that's it)

Find others at facebook... mine or on my pals...hahaha...

Grad Nite Photos

yup..... we look great.. hahaha... but hm.. there should be more i think.... ppl.. do send them to me k? school email. Thanks!

un poco loco (a little crazy)

i must be... a little crazy to spend the limited time i have now to blog this. but this morning i have no activities. So, here i am at home, checking my email and find out that i screw up sth at work (Great shit)... and i have some notes to write to my parents which cause me to be emotionally wrecked (but im recovering). will have to go to NP to do some necessary shopping because i need to bring back some stuff to China. (which reminds me that i have no idea wat to get my colleagues... which means i will just end up with chocolates or tidbits for them....)

hey guys.... im really happy to meet you all... some only on the phone.... but it is great to hear from you ya noe? i think i finally realised how important some of you guys are... our relationships (frens and relatives). and i fear (oh yes i do) that one fine day i will lose ya all.. it is really easy to forget you noe... esp if you are working (busy busy) and not making effort to meet.... so pple in singapore... rem to meet often k, you guys have the luxury of distance (the lack of), so just make opportunities k?

think of me fondly...

Back in SG.

and the verdict is that nothing has changed on the surface. but who is to say that if one digs deeper beneath the surface.... one will the contrary.

my family says that i havent change much, except to be fairer and slightly fatter.... haiz.
well... i hope that is what they want and desire.

meeting up with friends is another matter.... think im less and less talkative... just feel like there isnt much to say you noe... haiz... but it is so nice to see them all and just seat around.

a list of things i wan to get from sg

1. Earl Grey tea - checked
2. office clothes (esp. pants) -checked
3. smart casual clothes -nope
4. shoes (at least 1 pair) -checked
5. wind-breaker (maybe i will get this in china, depends) -nope
6. CDs into my laptop - nope
7. Books... (non-fict) -checked

yup yup... i noe it is stupid to put this list on but it serves as a reminder...
it is not tat im crazy and wan to buy stuff... just tat sometimes it is not v easy to buy stuff here.. of course HK is another matter.

tired but so excited to go back... i need a tan... think i will go swimming at least 2 times when im back.hahaha oh i miss the pool and the beach and the ... just the...

random thinking

someone told me... i will be heading back to SG after 1.5 years... and i wonder what to make of that.....

...... ....... i want to shift... to 搬家... i wonder where to stay and how to go about it.

i had lots of fun watching people over dinner today... makes me think of being in sg and watching people... (trust me, it is v different from here... over here.. i dun watch pple as often.. bec it isnt nice... what you see). humans are such interesting studies... they can be happy one moment, serious another, light and dark...so quickly. that is why... they are so difficult to understand....

.....can humans be without falsity?

flight details - as requested. haha

On 5th July, I will be on flight TR987,
- departing in Guangzhou at 10.50am
- arriving in Singapore at 2.40pm

On 13th July, I wil be on flight TR986,
- departing in Singapore at 6.25am
- arriving in Guangzhou at 10.20am

Should be Changi T3 if im not wrong...
My mom will fetch me at the airport on 5th july. isnt she cool! cant wait!!!!

which reminds me... i need to change the date for my 1 yr return ticket... that i got for my trip to GZ. Be nice and remind me k?

sending lots of hugs and kisses.

untitled poem

warmth from a paper cup,
a comfort to your hands.

sip it in heart's winter-
a sure balm for many pangs.

Breathe in the calming low notes,
and let fly your disturbness

make the real imagined,
believe in what you make
believe.

IKEA @ GuangZhou

prefer the one at home... but the prices here are cheaper... much cheaper... the cafe here is v small.. i would say half of Alexander's... and the meatballs and chickenwing are not as good. haha... as u can see... main purpose was to try the food there... haha... typical.

anyway... work is going slowly... havent done anything really sales yet... more operational... missing u guys more and more.... so glad that i can meet up with u soon... i will be back on Sat 5th July and will leave after Commencement... freakish early on Sunday morning... so anything, pls arrange within those days k?

I have already booked the flight.. Tiger Airways... best timing plus best price... not sure about the comfort level though... so ya... oh ya... anything u guys need? do let me know... small items pls.. bec luagage allowance is pathetic. so ya... did i say i miss u guys? the people i love... it has been awhile huh... but know that i keep u guys close... always... though i may miss ur bdays sometimes...

till next time.

im pissed

bec yes, i have gain weight... sheesh man... fat thighs and double chin here i come.

trouble in a tea cup or more

its not Shichuan's earthquake or myanmar's cyclone but it sure hit my heart with an unerring accuracy and pull at my heart and tear string.... its only been 2 plus months... and the realationship is only just bearing its first harvest.... but already... the forecast of a dry spell is lurking behind the clouds some distance away. my friend has decided to leave the company that i just joined. my best pal and kaki.... the implications of this decision is numerous and impactful, im sure you do not need further explanation, pple as wise as true hearted as you.
Of course, it is not the end of the world (look at all the new telecast of the hope and courage shown in aftermath of Sichuan's earthquake- so much it is an overkill if i ever saw one) but man does it hurt (rub eyes). hate it! feel so upset and like a fool... but if this is god's lesson... (they all bloodly are) i will just have to deal with it in a couragous and trusting manner.
to all my friends back home.... treasure the pple u have (in sg and else where(big hint: ME)) because u really nv noe when u will lose them.
"God bless America, oops... i mean China... er... nono... Singapore?" wat the heck.... just "ME" will be fine.

i think i have changed... a little

but i hope.. i dun over compensate.

"hey wat u doing?"

someone tried to pick my pocket today...when i was getting on the bus... 3 men rushed up.. separating and friend and I. She got in first... followed by one guy who rushed up the bus... then me.. then 2 others tried to squeeze in... resulting in me getting pushed around... in the pushing and squeezing at the bus door... i saw one of the guy put his hand into my shorts pocket, wanting to steal my hp... damnit man... i was stunt.. my respond was "hey, 你在干吗？不要拿我的东西！" can you picture it? among all the rough jerking around... i still did not hit him or scold him... man... and i think he was as stunt to find me catching him in the act of stealing my hp... he and his friend decided to give up my hp and quickly got down the bus... meanwhile i was raising my voice and saying "小偷,小偷!". only then my friend realise that something was wrong... lol.... but man.. it was scary... my heart was beating quite fast after the pickpockets left...
so that was what happen today... and all i can say is... thank you god! and to all my friends...for ur prayers.

From HK

Reach Empire Hotel Kowloon ard 11pm tonight... and is up online... will be staying in HK for 2 nights.. but it will be busy busy for me... because i need to finish up some work... even when im not in office.

2nd time in HK for making the stupid visa.. haiz... but i have to admit HK is nice... esp. compared to GuangZhou haha... BUT im so freaking tired.... the traveling and the work goes on...

It is getting busier in office and i am meeting some problems... what i can say is that i will try to accomodate and change but without losing myself... i hope i can do it... pls pray for me k? i know i can work things out if i know what direction to take... and today i have a better view of where i should be heading... now... i should make effort to suit.

pple... i do hope that u dun give up easily... despite the hardship... because it really is... not easily.. life and work.

the iron man

it was damn nice... the ending was abrupt though.. but still it was a great show... techic yet nice acting.... anyway.... after i came out of the cinema.... i felt that when the show was playing.. i was in sg....it feels so great u noe...i was like bursting with joy... lol..... and i wan to watch Indie!!!! will it be showing during July(mid)? i miss going movies with Yihui!

Photos of 武汉 (BBQ Session)

it may not be clear from the photos... but we were on a hill... and everywhere on the hill... is pple bbqing... this hill is a part of their 公园. i was with my 2 collegues/frens and their uni friends... they are not in the pic bec... i dun noe if they mind having their photos shown... hahaha. after the bbq... my stomach cannot take it.. and i had to use the public toilet...(no door ones...) may i really stood outside and ponder v hard if i could do without when my stomach was already in a bad shape... (for rest of the photos... pls check facebook).

The train ride back to GZ was quite bad... fights occur in the crowded and stuffy walkway... (the usual smoking and squeezing takes places). so bad.. this time i didnt even manage to use the loo.
so i was quite tired when i reach my place (at 8am)... didnt do washing till i got up at 2pm... then work called... problems at work... delivery is disrupted.. talk on msn with my teammate... who is now in SG and will be taking a few more days off due to MC... which means im in trouble... lots to do.

did some washing... got my lunch prepared (udon... my fav...with fishcake and side dish: kimchi)dun think i will be able to do other chores till after dinner.... just now i was checking emails and talking to my mom, yihui on msn. now im uploading pics onto facebook... will put some on blogger i think... just a little... too lag.

wuhan is a better city for living compared to guangzhou... the pace is not as hectic... it is also larger than GZ.. so not so packed with pple. the cabs there are kinder... and cheaper!!! picking up at 3RMB compared to 7RMB over here. the air condition also slightly better... and the food there is not bad... we met some frens of my frens.. and went BBQing... i tell u... it is not like wat we have over here... hahahaha... man was i in for a shock at their diy bbq venue.

wuhan is also dotted with european (french) architecture... do look at the pics on facebook. they are one of the main reason y i wanted to see wuhan... i also went to 黄鹤楼. but i didnt went in to see... bec according to my frens.. not tat fantastic... for ppl like me... who dun understand the story and it is not v pretty....in the inside.

also went to a guanyin temple... the special thing about this temple is that there is 500 咯汉 statues. and by do some simply picking and choosing and counting... you can actually tell you more about urself and your life.. and it is quite accurate. honestly! quite unbelievable.. my fren went there every year and each year... wat she got was a v accurate description of her situation then.

well pple.. that is as much i have to say for now...

Actmens, you guys found a place to take grad photos? do reccomend me k? and Nuan.. i will need to make a trip to La Senza when im back in Sg.... u interested? hahaha...

pre trip to Wuhan

im going to Wuhan... the place of my friend's uni years. it is supposedly very relaxing... a place of culture and history... it is also filled with students.. and hopefully i will feel like a student there...

my worries... i have spoken about briefly in the prev. entry are about my work... the environment... how i feel left out sometimes... but it could just be just all one sided... unfounded too... but i just feel kinda.. you noe?

anyway... im super tired but im packing my bag for the trip. and y im tired is bec yest i reach home ard 2 plus am... after a nite of fare-thee-well party at a niteclub cum KTV.... i will really miss the fellow man! he is v cool... but the drinking can kill... i felt like 1 more cup and i will puke straight up... haiz... but luckily Simon (my teammate) help me drink quite a lot. kudos to him. but it also made me feel like im so useless... haiz..

anyway... tmr is another working day for me.... and after that... i will take a train to Wuhan. wish u guys all a good holiday... its labour day (oh ya... we only have 1 day off here... but boss gave 1 more day! uber cool eh?)

nites all. hugs and kisses
(p.s. need to get lots of stuff from sg...)

a little troubled

its late but i just wanted to let u guys know... that i am a little pensive... a little unsure.... and will make a trip to 武汉 to get away from it all.... will provide the full story (or as much as i can when i have the time to.) u guys are often in my thoughts... take care and hope u have less worries than moi!

it literally rained on me

the ceiling aircon spoilt... and it was dripping like mad... pple in the office tot that it was raining outside bec of the sound of the pitter pattering.... haha... but it was just the aircon rainning on me... and it almost killed my laptop man... plus the desktop com....

hey ppl miss ya all so much.... dreamt i was in sg yesterday... shopping... hahahaha.... i noe... how lousy of me... not to dream of ppl but of shopping... made me v happy till i got up and see no shopping bags.... hahaha...

anyway... take care ppl...

photos of 桂林1

Traveling down 漓江

小婷

i climb up all the way to take this pic (梯田)

one scene from 印象-刘三姐. it was beautiful!

Love how it came out.

photos of 桂林2

isnt it picturesque? (boss taking a shot)

does the peak look like the goddess of mercy?

YangShuo， West Street （西街）

reflections of ceiling of cave in water (倒影）

one of my best pals at work and play

photos may paint a beautiful picture

but no one knows as clear as me

the person who looks through the lens of the camera

just how the framing of a photo makes all the difference.

i can see clearly now...

the sky is clear... i finally see blue skies today... and at night when im playing basketball... i saw stars... it is rare u noe... to see blue skies... which is a common sight in sg.

arrive in GZ today and headed to work after going home to freshen up. guilin is great... it is beautiful... there is peaks and hills everywhere... mountains.... it is said 桂林山水甲天下and it really seem that case.... singapore have a 小桂林 too right? haha.. it is no where near the true Guilin though... i took a train to and fro... 13 hours to (seats and there are lots of people man...seat and standing... 1.3 billion really is a lot). the coming back was quite nice.. 6 beds in a ward... like in a cruise ship that kind... on the wall one.... really quite a comfortable and relaxing environment.... will see if i can post the pics up soon...

guys... watever u guys are doing right now... i wish all of u happy and healthy... take care!

photos coming soon....

it really is 清明时节雨纷纷

清明时节雨纷纷
路上行人欲断魂
借问酒家何处有
牧童遥指杏花村

杜牧 (du mu)

and it really is... raining these days... the clothes never seem to dry... and guess what.. first time im looking towards Qing ming... bec its a public holiday!!! im going guilin with my collegue (and i think a v good pal of mine) haha... hope it will be as beautiful as she says. and well... its going to a tough 13 hour train ride (seat type... the bed ones are all booked). really looking forward to it... and tmr will be another long day... haha..

and heidi, yup... im beening drinking... 2 sessions last week... so ya... but not a lot... love u guys... keep me update k? hope to go back to sg during july to see ya all!!!

yihui, jia you!!!

oh man.... u guys are so sweet

its so good to see all the tags that i receive... really miss u guys... glad that u guys are tagging. keep on tagging k! it really cheers me up... yup will not make the same mistake again... hahaha... so silly of me. anyway.. hope my mom reach here soon... jia you pple!!!

anyway... yesterday Marcus went with the rest of my collegues (male) to a nightclub... and they have to each ask for a lady... it is really like a beauty queen parade etc. and u get to chose which lady u like... and later on u can ask them to go back with u one.... hm... well.. i guess i better get used to this idea... afterall it is a job rite? people take their jobs seriously... so yup... and who am i to judge... well.. i tot it is nice to let u guys in on wats going on over here... so guys dun be shock k! steady! im glad i get to learn about such things from marcus... hee kk... do post ur comments and opinions on the tag box k!

xoxo

finally had some time to blog

you know.. operating the washing machine is quite simple... even in chinese... but its the tot process of what to put into the washing machine that is tricky...
throw in 2 new towels into the washing machine with some of my clothes... and shit happens... haiz... white dust like particles can be found on all of the clothes in that batch of wash and the next one.. haiz

havent got to ironing my clothes... but it is still ok.. have enough to last to tmr... it just takes too much time to do all the chores... no magic clean... so sweeping is horrible... dun feel like this is adequate yet ( i mean my house) but my cashflow is dwindling so... im skimpping on some of the stuff that i wan to get... haiz

work is still alright because well.. i havent really started.. worried my chinese will be a big killer... Marcus arrived yesterday and today he is ask to join the rest for drinking... im home.. because i had dinner with my xiaodai who is leaving GZ tmr... man.. its been a week... one week of being roommates... and already i feel like i noe her for a long time.. she wont be coming back to GZ... hope i will get to visit her in Shanghai...

lastly hope my mom gets here safely tomorrow... will keep u guys posted on more stuff

me and my roommate of 5 days

we are at guangzhou city... of course not everything is so rosy and tourisy... finally got my internet at home but not at a place where i am more comfortable. v tired now... will blog another time just wan to let u guys know i finally got internet at home. will appear on msn real soon :) nites all.

utilising Lunch break

hey people... my room mate is quite a nice person. really glad she is staying with me for now. i heard that setting up the internet will be a chore and will be a long process. i noe it is v tough for my bf. if u guys see him ard do cheer him up or talk to him k? ( i hope he wont mind my high handedness in this) miss him lots.. things are not v convenient now that i havent got my own place.. but collegues are v good (so far haha) to me. havent really started work or trainin so just bumpin ard now. pple take care and keep me posted ok? tag on my tagbox... its more convenient for me to check 1 webpage for updates till i get my own com connected ok?

lots of love from GZ

and there is hope

think i might have a way to blog and see ur blogs... just that it will be a tedious process.
quick post of how im doing...
not v satisfied with my current accomodation... but i will tolerate. miss you guys.

Bon Voyage!

if you guys do not see any post here within 2 weeks... pls check the link "Grace in GZ" at the HER PALS area. Also, you can email me. my usual hp no. will be be useful for a few weeks and later it will only be utilise when i come back to sg. So, wat ever it is. do not delete my hp no!!! or else!

Flight details

hi guys... my flight is at 8.10am tomorrow!!!
i will be at Changi T3 at 6.30am.
only a few family members will be there.
if you guys wan to come join us do inform me.
So far... J.L.T and some Actsmen will be there rite?
Of cos, my bf will be there too.

Reminder: no tears for farewell k?

the road to being a strong woman

i believe that people grow stronger through experiencing difficulties. 吃的苦中苦，方为人上/中人。and i guess...this must have been in-grained into me by my parents. mom gave me the chinese phrase again today. obviously, the road ahead is tough and challenging. obviously it will be something out of my comfort zone. obviously i will feel sad to leave my friends and family and worry about my safety and ability to cope in a different country.

But that all fades into the background when i see this as an opportunity to grow, to stike out on my own (with help and support), to test my abilities and to prove to myself and people around me what i know i am capable of.

In the face of uncertainty and maybe adversity, will i still be grace even under pressure? Will i stand for what i believe? Be the best i can be? Can i make it in this world? Will i be able to pick myself up after a fall and carry on? Will i still have my friends beside me after long absences? So many questions which may be never be answered if i do not step out of my comfort zone.

i am so afraid, but i know what i must do and why. Because i want to grow, because i dont want to remain stagnant at where i am now, because i know this will be good for me- career and personal-life wise. i want to be a strong woman, like my mother, like my grandmother.

Yihui, relationships dont fail, its people that do. I will try my best not to fail our relationship because i love you and cherish all that we have and all that we will have in the future.

what im doing these days

1. Creating a photo stand (using a calendar i got from Joanne, thanks babe!) [pls pardon the amature work... it really is... haha.. plus i got no money to invest in more pretty deco. stuff.] if you do not see ur pic here... do not panic... these are the more "can see" ones... haha.. some are really plain n er... not nice. of cos not everyone is covered in the album... i only have limited time (4 more days!!!!!) and i dun have ur photos!!!! yup yup

2. Packing... or... preparing the packing... so many things... dont know where to start...

3. Going to the dentist, clinics (yes, 's' because i need to take travel vaccins and i suddenly develop allergies... to dun noe wat.. doc say it could be anything and it does not seem to be a fixed allergy.

4. Spending time with bf and family... must be hard... i noe. because i feel it too.

5. Backing up computer... impt stuff

yup.. tat is about all in a nutshell... lots more to do i guess.. just not sure where to start man... will update the flight details tmr or later... its ok guys... i understand if u guys cannot make it to send me off, i totally understand and forgive u all, in fact i dun take to heart one... (this is me saying im not good at saying goodbyes).

I love TANGS!!!!! They have great service!!!!

it is week 8 - break week and if you guys ( i mean gals) are free, do go down to the Tangs sales. Because they really show the rest of the fashion houses out there how sales and good service can go hand in hand... the various sales i have been to are mostly filled with unhelpful sales assistants whose answer to your any question is negative. for example "Sorry, cant do it", "It is all there already", "Sorry, our policy is...".

I was at Tangs Vivocity yesterday, tried a size 6 to find it too big- that was the smallest size on the rack. one of the assistant overheard and ask if i want her to check if there is a size 4!!! can u believe it? I wanted to exchange a shirt i bought 2 days ago bec the size wasnt right, so i reserved the right piece yesterday and brought the wrong one down to change today. i dun have the receipt of the purchase and have gotten the tag cut off so i was worried they wont change of me. and that was reasonable of them to not change it too. But, after telling them the receipt was with a fren bec we paid using her card, they allow me to exchange the item! in fact, they gave me a brand new piece when they couldnt find who was in charged of reserving the piece for me. Got my mom a Tangs member card and while i was waiting for it to be done, the sales assistant they actually made small talk with me so that i wont be too bored. They are have class! What Tangs did to their sales assistant, i dun noe, but they should keep up the good work!!!

I have spent a total of close to $200 at Tangs, introduced my mom and aunt to the sale, and they spent more than $100 together just during this sale period. That is what good service does, it bring customers in and back and bec im so impressed, i will most likely come back during a no sale period too. Long live TANGS!

die hard frens

Went shopping at Tangs with (left: Joanne, right: Ann). The sale is really great... spent ard $100 but i think it is totally worth it!!! haha... had lots of lol moments during our high tea. wishing both of them a long and fulfilling relationship with their other half... relationships dont fail, it is people that fail. lets not be failers. i will really miss you gals... u noe rite?

Then, it is straight to Pitstop Cafe to meet the IO people!!!! had lots of fun playing games like Uglydolls, Granny's apple, Taboo, the tower thingy (see pic below). we had so much fun being violent that we broke one glass while playing... haha.... (so sorry to crews of pitstop cafe). thanks for giving me such wonderful memories man!

Im so happy to have these frens... some who came out to meet just for meeting up sake... the 2 who have work and must be tried but still appear... and of course... i understand that some just cant come to meet. it is alright, no need to feel sorry etc. bec frens are like flowers... the give pleasure just by being. i dun need you guys to do anything other than be my friend.

Amigos para siempre (i think i dun need to translate this.. you guys should be able to guess eh?)

busy and busier

sheesh... lots to do and many to meet... tired and schedule a little pack. but im not complaining bec i noe chances to meet in the future will be so small...
do be patient with me k?

after the party

its 元宵and so my mom asked my relatives on my dad side to come over for steamboat... i enjoyed the fact that so many of them turn up and really appreciate that they drop their own stuff to gather at our house. i secretly think that its my mom giving me a fare-thee-well party before i leave SG. i honestly dont think that i will ever have such experience in guangzhou...

today i got up at 6.30am to drive my mom and godmother to 2 temples.. wish i could be a real taxi for my mom but.. its still more like practical lessons... hahaha... i still cant recognize the road... well, at least my parking is getting better... reach home at 11am and was put to prepared the various stuff that need to be done for 五香. mom making them personally... its really interested to learn what goes into the making of the dish. fall asleep while listening to Angela Zhang and Olivia Ong. and before i could warm the bed... im up to prepare the food for steamboat.... my relatives say now that im not working nor studying im free.... ya right! Yesterday i was running around settling my airticket, giro and claims form for the contract.. the day before i had to go for blood test to check my immunity for Hep B. and apply for new passport.

Now, im waiting for my passport to be done so as to do my visa, waiting for my blood test result for that i can go for the various vaccin jabs needed. need to get my transcript.. and i signed up for a PEAK talk on the 7th of March... lots more things to do... time running out like loco (crazy)!

After Valentines...

17 Feb - Lou hei with Actsmen in SMU. Celebrate my belated bday (dun noe when we will lou hei again)

16 Feb - Sending Emmie off to N.Z (dun noe when we will meet again)

The thing about love is...

It’s Valentine's day, and you can be a sceptic and cynical about this airy thing call Love, or try to understand what Love encompasses. I will leave my thought process at the very last part of this entry and first dish out some luvve to the people around me.

Over Skype on Tuesday night, I had read thr the card Ann gave me and was telling my bf, the happenings of the day when I began crying - it wasnt like those sudden burst into tears... more like gathering of mist in eyes which followed with silent tearing and then into shoulder shaking and choking cries. I might deserve my enemies but I dont think I deserve my friends- how can they be so good to me? so I concluded that someone out there is watching out and over for me. thank you!

Ann: I can ask no more from a sister, what I have already found in you.

Joanne & Gary: despite the short time we know eachother, you guys are great people, sincere and true friends that I eagerly count as my own.

Elaine: as a fellow Actmen, you already have an irreplaceable place in my heart (and yours is a high one too).

Ash: you are so... so what I want to be... I am honored to have a girlfriend like you!

Weilis: my brothers, of course I trust you guys... thanks for making me lol and showing ur concerns. I appreciate it

that Tues, I met some friends of mine for meals... comer y cenar.
For lunch, I met Ann, Joanne and Gary.... we went to Vincent's (or is it Vince's) Kitchen. The food was not bad at all! and the company, even better! These friends of mine- I call them my angels... they are so concern for me and supportive and give great drinking tips! hahaha...
For dinner, I met my IO group minus Ivan and Ho Seng at the Pizza place. we ordered too much and still had spaces for Bens& Jerry.... just show how much we want to cont. spending time in eachother's company...
I REALLY LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!

ok... so now, the thing about love is that it is such a huge concept, within which many other large concepts are embedded. Some examples of other concepts embedded in Love would be the principles of Grace, Trust and Selflessness. the idea of Grace is forgiveness and unmerited favor- even the undeserved IS deserving. the idea of trust is relinquishing control and taking responsibilities. and Selflessness would be putting others first and making compromises. These ideas are all linked and play out in love in various ways and in various situations. So, love between lovers, among family, among friends, even for fellow human (yes... there is love there too) most likely consist of these ideas taking different priorities and weights. So, that is my idea of Love.

what I found out, when I think about people I love... is that when I love them... I dun expect the same of them immediately or even in the near future... I am willing to wait for them. just to acknowledge my love will make me happy- by calling me their friend is one way. also, every time I think of how the people I love (friends make a bulk of them) love me, in their own ways... life becomes beautiful.

I think also, that love gives strength for people. because people become more selfless, thus their goals takes up some kind of godliness... and they will strive to complete them. that I think is where my mom is coming from. rem the entry "mommy's fears - a stroll in the park" my mom is more worried that I commit suicide then being rape? I had thought the opposite- I rather die than be raped. but now I understand. if I kill myself, im being selfish because I kill a person that someone love. Thus, if I really love the people around me, then I should live. it will be difficult but their love will give me strength to face the next day and every day after.

life is not the greatest gift, love is. life simply celebrates it. And God agrees (1 Corinthians 13:13).

LNY or CNY 08?

this year, with no school, LNY does not represent to me, what it does to many - much needed break from school. but this year, i find myself cherishing this holiday more. most probably because of the coming work relocation. i notice that i am more participative and more open and willing to interact with relatives- distant and not so distant ones.

Also, it is the first year, Yihui came over to bai nian. i am really glad he came. we played majong with my cousins. i truely felt that we have gone deeper into our relationships. he was really glad that i invited him over. and my parents seem alright with our relationship. here are people close to me that i will miss when i head over to guangzhou. they care about me because i am family, and for no reason other than that.

the date is set

on the 10th of March this year. that will be when i will be leaving Sg to go to Guangzhou.

Some things... on the top of have to get list...
1. Hp...
2. Still Hp.... (i will need 2)
3. clothes... esp. office kind...

ok... wat else people? im inexperienced in this man... anyway... there is a high possibility that i will change my hp no.... or at the very least suspend my current no. when i go over.... so please wait for more updates k?

Hoy, como en el restaurante- Manhattan Fish Market con mis compañeros de trabajo.
Despues, veo una pelicula con Yihui - Sweeney Todd. la pelicula esta bien. Cuesta siete dolar para una persona, es precio más barato posible.

Patron's Day 08

my last Patron's day....

mommy's fears - a stroll in the park

sometimes, i tag along with my parents as they go for a stroll in the nearby park (Yes, i know im being a loud lamppost). every time i do it, my dad will end up either walking ahead of my mom and i or lag behind us terribly.

we will talk when we walk (my mom and i)... it is not a often occurrence though (the talking)... just something that happens when one walks aimlessly... this time, mom told me of her deepest worries of my going to china.... she worries that when i met with misfortunate (esp. the ones that are gravest) i will not be able to handle them. Specifically, she worries that if im rape (Touch wood!) i would not be able to walk out of the bad experience... she fears that without family and friends to support and council me, i might commit sucide. when i heard this, i was shock and suddenly very terrified. really, it must be one of the worst case scenarios there is. the others being murder, gang rape and assault(all kinds)...

im being brutally honest here my friends... i cannot guarantee that such evil things will not happen to me.. or to anyone of us. but i hope that if such evilness does really occur to me, or anyone of us... we have each other to fall back on, despite the long distance apart or the long absences of contact.

i wish i can say now "i am strong, i will not be defeated" but all i can say is "god please help me be strong". the bible says ask and you shall receive. and why not? it does not hurt to ask right? because one does not lose out by asking for help.

Back to square uno

the trip was a fruitful one for me. i met the other candidate who is going with me. i met my collegues and bosses (director, GM, COO, even CEO). i toured the office (no small feat- because it was a huge place) and the various plants.

i had numerous meals a day (this can be a worry), was driven around the area, went to a disco club and met even more managers. we drink, yes i drink too. there really isnt a choice of not drinking (another hurdle to cross).

el sabado, bebo y bailo en un bar por la noche, despues regreso a mi hotel a las doce del noche. Que muy tarde! Despite the cold (around 10degC pero no nevar) i have to wash up every night because my clothes and hair smell like cigarette smoke (yup everyone smokes)

There seems like a lot of cons... but honestly... the pros are quite signicant too. so here i am... condsidering