sometimes, i tag along with my parents as they go for a stroll in the nearby park (Yes, i know im being a loud lamppost). every time i do it, my dad will end up either walking ahead of my mom and i or lag behind us terribly.
we will talk when we walk (my mom and i)... it is not a often occurrence though (the talking)... just something that happens when one walks aimlessly... this time, mom told me of her deepest worries of my going to china.... she worries that when i met with misfortunate (esp. the ones that are gravest) i will not be able to handle them. Specifically, she worries that if im rape (Touch wood!) i would not be able to walk out of the bad experience... she fears that without family and friends to support and council me, i might commit sucide. when i heard this, i was shock and suddenly very terrified. really, it must be one of the worst case scenarios there is. the others being murder, gang rape and assault(all kinds)...
im being brutally honest here my friends... i cannot guarantee that such evil things will not happen to me.. or to anyone of us. but i hope that if such evilness does really occur to me, or anyone of us... we have each other to fall back on, despite the long distance apart or the long absences of contact.
i wish i can say now "i am strong, i will not be defeated" but all i can say is "god please help me be strong". the bible says ask and you shall receive. and why not? it does not hurt to ask right? because one does not lose out by asking for help.
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