the entry caused by seeing something i rather not

blogging on someone else's computer... feels like im using someone else's undergarments... awkward.

but anyway.. that was just a side note to myself... that maybe it isnt so wise to do it.. fiddling with someone else's private property... hm... can you guess it? yup.... i saw somethings i rather not see. Hrumph...

so let me write a little...since my fingers are already in motion...

the reason why people write. 

1. some write as an outlet... they want to tell people, the power of the pen/press whatever... they hope to convince you of what they have to say, to make you react and etc. etc. etc.

2. some write as a record... they want to look back in time and see how they were.. these people are mostly thinking aloud... 

of cos, most people do not fall in such nice category.. they just do both/one or the other while they write... also... they dont think much... about why the write... we just do.

i look thr my writings in the old blog as well as the new... and find that i have often write more as a means of recording my feelings... throughout the time... i have always wonder if people actually read my blog... now i know a few does... i secretly wish my blog is well-read thr but i can live even if it isnt. 

my writings consist of histories of my life, my musing on life and death (just some less lighthearted entries), trying my clumsy hands at poetry... and other even more random stuff... i am no J.K Rowling... no editors at Cleo/Times... not any poet striving for fame. but i know... my writings are honest... like me. lay my pumping heart in hand for you to plunge a knife thr- kinda honest...

the angst stage has past me by.... maybe with the years in my life that begins with "1"... the incoherent yet dramatic prose and vague unfulfilled sad stories with no leading man/woman... so young... so long ago... cant imitate... can only be myself...

what i saw.... not impt to you... it is something for me to resolve... do not worry your pretty heads over me my dears... because grace is strong... she will make do and make do happily... because she is well supported by each and everyone of you... im lucky i have you.. do you know? if no one tells you that... let me shout it to you "I AM SO FORTUNATE TO HAVE FRIENDS LIKE YOU IN MY LIFE!" you guys are the greatest... thank you.

now, i will have to pull myself together and surf this tsunami! ( surf boards ready?)