I thought really hard in the shower today. i thought maybe that I should not blog today because I have nothing good to say about myself. You know that, that is really bad because most of time, it is not difficult for me to like myself at all. It is like watching movie or tv, and you know that the lead is going to make a wrong decision and you are shouting at your seat, “NO! NO, NO, NO. Don’t do it..” But she did. And it didn’t take long, but the consequences (in this case, a bad one) came back and haunt her. Shucks, don’t ask me what did I wrong, I am not proud to admit it. Just know that, when I can finally think straight, I feel the stone settle ‘comfortably’ at my gut.
Dammit, grace! When are you going to wise up???!!!! So what if you are so goody and nice, you will end up hurting people in the end! You weak, weak girl, when will you realize that no one is tat good.
God, what am I doing? I am just going to beat myself up… until maybe, I can make sense of what I am doing and how that reflects on me.
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