some days are SO bad... you need a little help to lighten the mood and lighten your pocket... most days.. before u hit the first store... your mood already lighten a little.. but today is not one such day. today i hit 2 stores.. spent over $80 on sportswear i dun noe when i will use... and best of all, still feel shity... big big sigh. skip dinner cause i have no appetite... skip half a cup of good bubble tea because it lost it deliciousness mid-way, skip 4 laps of my walk... because... well just because... simply NO mood. big big sigh again...
... you can stop here ...
God? are you there? can you tell me what wrong with me? why am i being so stubborn? why am i being so blind? i thought it was fine... growing into my own right... i have time, dont i? Jeezs.. did i came out wrong some how? some where? i want to be better! i SO want to better! i so want to do good, and good alone... but why do i end up so cut up inside? so mashed up? so folded? so, so, so... i have so much to tell you... and wish i could see you! bring me to you, let me sit at your feet, scold me, teach me... i dun care if i die... as long as i have you. sheesh, it sound so mushy... but God, you are the only one i know whom i can tell everything to... the only one who will understand. the only one i trust to be there always... no matter what...
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