silly girl

she took her pills for lunch and dinner together at supper-time and then went out to run. she ran, then walk, then ran, then walk again, with her ipod, going in circles. she feels so bad... so rotten and all a mess inside, but she couldnt let the nasty things out. she understood why people cut themselves... but she couldnt do it to relief her pain. she looks up at the sky and laments that the stars are not as plentiful as she wishes, and nor as bright. she knows she is blessed but she feels let down. she hates herself for not being better. she is a wreck but she dont know how to recover. she wants to hurt but she dont know how. she wants to vent... but cant even cry. she is just pathetic, this silly girl.