MLTR!!!! (Titled does not make sense to entry)

im petrified. i have so much to think about.
it feels like numerous thoughts wanting to be written all at the same time. they are like rush of air particles through the valleys of my fingers. they are so developed that i can almost feel them gathering at my palms... and they scare me with their tenacity to be heard.


thus, this is me giving in...

an old man reminise about this past and how when he was a boy of 5 or 6... his playmates are all like him. they have the same background, the same ideals and aspirations. They are singaporeans - true and true. but now as he see the children running around, he predicts that in 20 years time... that would have been a very different picture.


as i hymn a tune while i walk alone... i was suddenly overcome by a feeling of sadness... but i feel good that i felt the sadness.. sometimes i dun think i get to feel it.. as if i have pushed it to the very very corner of my mind and covered it with cobwebs... i secretly think i have not let it all out yet. SHUCKS

i had an AMAZING yester-night! even thinking about it now... i still cant believe it. maybe it was just the moment... or maybe the 1 sided conversation (honestly, i dun believe it was 1 sided...), ... ( for a moment, i am loss for words ) ok, i am not sure if it was just me but... you aint that bad... :) i mean sometimes you just cant be sure ya know? i have worn my heart on my sleeves and have gotten brush-offs and fakeness... that i cant say for sure now what is real & what isnt... of cos i am still optimistic... duh. but also fearful.
Sé, no diga gracias, pero siento muchos. Tan, tengo decir- Muchas gracias mi amigo!

there is a time and place for all things. someone told me something what i was told long ago.. but then, i must have been deaf, cos i didnt get it. But now, maybe i am older, wiser... and i could see how i could have been mistaken, been quick to judge. but now, i guess i am ready, ready to listen.

i have again been questioned... regarding my ambition or the lack there of... haha... i have to say that my ambition is lofty.. so lofty that i dun think most people will grasp. My ambition is to be God. No kidding.i know it is something i will never achieve. haha... but it is the only think i really really want- to be as good as God, to be as kind, to be as wise. i guess this cant be written in any kind of career plan... and most people will think it is super unrealistic... but isnt is what everyone should be striving for? (Nope. most people just wan money, fame and power)

But, this is my guiding principle, my light. and it is so bright and powerful that most things will not be able to make me waver in my path. do i have an ambition? in the normal/real world sense of the word? No. But do i have An Ambition? Yes. it is THE ambition, THE ambition you should have too. To be more like God.

Buenos noches y hasta pronto!