6, little secrets

i will let you in on a little secret... if you read my blog at night, i am most probably, 'reading' it with you. i often sit in front my comp., dazing at my blog... listening to the vid that i have posted on it.. esp. the latest one. (i dont know if that sounds pathetic to you, but i know i am not (pathetic). i feel peaceful when i sit here and listen to the vids) just want you to know that you are not the only 1 starring at my blog... does that comfort you? hm... i dun noe.

anyways... i suddenly had an epiphany (when i was traveling) and the epiphany is that he never liked me enough to be in love with me... haha... so silly right? But i was always comfortably contented... you know? the way a baby is contented to feed from his mother's breast?

But, what i really want to know is, was it love? because... if it is, shouldnt it be more? i dont think that i can fully describe what i want to say... i just, think that if someone loves you... he will most prob. cannot help but defend you all the time, be unable to resist you in so many ways, always try to stand between you and any kind of danger, and most of all... be drawn to you, like gravity. because if i love some one... i think i will do all that. and maybe more... i will want him to happy and contented. i want to be there to fight with him, to fight for him and to comfort him. i want to be there by his side no matter what. so, if THIS is love... what was it (then)?

i think im going to do alright. i think... i am very fortunate. i rem, i asked my friend once (Jes, it's you)... Do you think i will be more grateful to others or, others will be more grateful to me in my life? She said that others will more grateful to me... but now, i seriously think... we were wrong... because i have so many people that i am so thankful for... SO MANY FREAKING PEOPLE!!! haha... yes! i am thankful for you (points to you and big smile). Thank You God!