i want to write but cannot. "Cannot" because every time an inspiration strikes, im busy, either on my way somewhere or doing work.. No kidding... inspiration struck when i was brushing my teeth today... and since my hands are on the tap and holding the toothbrush... and i was rushing to work... i didnt manage to capture that idea... that is just one example.
last night i had nightmares... i think it is getting more and more comman... bad dreams about work... feeling of incompetency and loss... fear, anxiety, stress... gosh. And guess what.. i found out that the nightmare played out into my waking hour... and i cant wake up. Shit happen at work (as usual). Haiz... it is tiring man... just so tiring that no matter how much hours i put in... forgoing my health and well-being, the richness of my life and so on and so forth, my work still dont bear fruit! ...(i wont cont. this... i think you most people understand the stress from work...)
on to another track, i and confunded. i feel so jaded sometimes... jaded about life, love and goodness. jaded even about religion. it is more like a puzzle that i find interesting and less of faith... I seriously dont want to go into that kind of thinking. because, i feel so bad to think like that...
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