SMU again

i felt like i was back in smu... my hands tied to some invisible KPI that goes up whenever my hands does... haiz.. i rem some of those times in the SRs when i have no idea what questions i want to ask and i had to force myself to ask something... man it is cruel... i mean... like hello? why ask something just because?

i recall a study/research i have heard somewhere.. about rewarding people when they do something specified. It shows that while people who arent very much into the activity seems to do more... and would do it for the reward... people who in the first place already like doing the activity register lower 'happiness' when doing the activity for a reward...

this is not totally similar to my case... because the KPI is invisible and maybe imaginary BUT... there are some similar dissatisfaction i think... i would rather go in with an open mind and really listen than to have something prepared needless of whatever the speaker has to say... what do you think? i mean seriously.. the whole time you are most prob psyching yourself up to asking the question which is most prob not relevant to whatever the speaker say than listening to him... huh? huh?

lol... and with this... i draw a curve and loopy line to Active listening.. Do you know what constitute Active listening? It is a simple simple thing just terribly hard to do...

for example... when you listen to a complaint, a sad story from a friend or colleague... are you in your mind also forming your reply? This is esp. true in arguments... When your family, love one is recollecting their day, are you thinking of your own workload? ticking off the To Do List in your head?
- All these and more are all NOT active listening...

So what exactly is active listening? Hm... i guess... it is just paying attention and being sincere about wanting to know more, without going into making judgements and thinking of solutions or replies.. just trying to understand and hear what the other party's got to say...

Tough huh?