random thoughts

and so it became 4:
4 person in the world... whom i told of my little problem...my mom being one of them,a cousin and 2 friends. Honestly, i hope they dont go around telling others about it.. i mean afterall, it isnt a happy news or sth joyous to share.

Books i read/ am reading:
For most fiction buff- The 13th tale by Diana Setterfield
For fiction cum history buff- The Alchemist's Daughter by Katherine Mcmahon
For rare few who enjoy humor & philosophy together- Plato and a Platypus walk into a bar by Thomas Cathcart & Daniel Klein

LNY:
i need clothes, shoes, bag, accessories and everything else too... just in case. lol
watch what movie?

Wedding:
Should i let myself believe that it is bad luck to be a bridesmaid/sister for more than 3 times? but my good friend leh...

25th Bday:
Where to eat huh? lol
will i get presents? and from who?
hm... 25? hm, hm, hm...

travel:
USA or Japan?

On my way to work, the car radio and aircon blasting, I sipped on my ice Milo enjoying the short time to myself as my mom drove.

As my fringe stirred softly in the cool wind, I mulled over the pig heads left in the mosques, in plastic bags, the recent elected presidents and the confidence they boost, and the possibilty of a Chinese for a grand slam win.

- Posted on my trusty ifone :)

Never know how true it is until today

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference." --Reinhold Niebuhr, The Serenity Prayer

Found on Skye's msn message bar...

新世纪女性：上得了厅堂，下得了厨房，写得了代码，查得出异常，杀得了木马， 翻得了围墙，开得起好车，买得起新房，斗得过二奶，打得过流氓...

lol :)

Another Sunday

In the brightness of pre dusk, I saw venus perched loftily in the clouds. Pretending to be the moon. A lonely bird flew across the blue just above the green, never reaching venus's veiled window balcony. And in the field and patch of sky left only me and my 5 o'clock shadow.


- Posted on my trusty ifone :)

oops.. he is Joe McElderry

And if you didnt know... He is Joe McElderry, winner of the X Factor 2009
He also sang some of my fav songs in the world...
- Dance with my father (Luther vandross)
- The climb (Mylie)

I will upload another time... but if you have the time (you really should) go Youtube it!

Gosh... melts, melts...

Simply dreamy and so good he gives me the creep!

SMU again

i felt like i was back in smu... my hands tied to some invisible KPI that goes up whenever my hands does... haiz.. i rem some of those times in the SRs when i have no idea what questions i want to ask and i had to force myself to ask something... man it is cruel... i mean... like hello? why ask something just because?

i recall a study/research i have heard somewhere.. about rewarding people when they do something specified. It shows that while people who arent very much into the activity seems to do more... and would do it for the reward... people who in the first place already like doing the activity register lower 'happiness' when doing the activity for a reward...

this is not totally similar to my case... because the KPI is invisible and maybe imaginary BUT... there are some similar dissatisfaction i think... i would rather go in with an open mind and really listen than to have something prepared needless of whatever the speaker has to say... what do you think? i mean seriously.. the whole time you are most prob psyching yourself up to asking the question which is most prob not relevant to whatever the speaker say than listening to him... huh? huh?

lol... and with this... i draw a curve and loopy line to Active listening.. Do you know what constitute Active listening? It is a simple simple thing just terribly hard to do...

for example... when you listen to a complaint, a sad story from a friend or colleague... are you in your mind also forming your reply? This is esp. true in arguments... When your family, love one is recollecting their day, are you thinking of your own workload? ticking off the To Do List in your head?
- All these and more are all NOT active listening...

So what exactly is active listening? Hm... i guess... it is just paying attention and being sincere about wanting to know more, without going into making judgements and thinking of solutions or replies.. just trying to understand and hear what the other party's got to say...

Tough huh?

Eye candies in Burberry Campaign

Stupid 811

Sheesh I am at the bus stop at 8am. And then I has no choice to take the 811E bus which is not the one I was waiting for bec it is already 8.20am.And then I have to wait in a damn long queue for 811! Sheesh. So here I am bitching about it.
Love my iPhone absolutely hate the bus!!!


So late...

- Posted on my trusty ifone :)

The new but unwanted Mui Mui Bag S$1500

Seriously, i have no idea who reading my blog would be willing to fork out $1500 SGD for this tiny bag ( no way you can fit A4 paper inside without folding). But my cousin is terribly unfortunate to kenna this from her boyfriend...

ok the story goes like this...

Boyfriend wanted to surprise his girlfriend with a gift since she hinted that their relationship quite dull and boring... so he asked his guy friend... who asked his girlfriend to buy a gift for my cousins... $1500 exchange hands.... and the girlfriend bought back this bag.. which is... erm... (no way to put it nicely except to say....but) .. erm, a surprise!

So, here it is... brand new.... not carried out of house... and up for adoption. Anybody want to take home this NEW but unwanted Mui Mui at $1500?

Let me know ya?

(Ps... cus... u owe me for cheapening my blog for u!!!! hahaha)

Shamelessly copied from T. of Magpies (see side bar)

17

Why is the word yes so brief?
It should be
the longest,
the hardest,
so that you could not decide in an instant to say it,
so that upon reflection you could stop
in the middle of saying it

by Vera Pavlova
and translated from the Russian by Steven Seymour


I think the same too... it is all too easy to say "yes" without fully understanding what you commit to and what responsibilities you are offering to shoulder and what you have chosen to put your stamp on.

Burning

Burn brightly, bec the time we have is short. Despite what people tell you, know this you have only 1 shot at it, whatever it may be for u.

It may be so draining to always be burning as bright as you can but is there any other way to burn?


- Posted on my trusty ifone :)

Going instead of coming home

Heading home in a taxi but not heading towards rest. This kind of lifestyle is so criminal man. When can I feel rested and at peace? Is this the lifestyle I want? For how long?


- Posted on my trusty ifone :)

things i want to SAY

I want to travel!!!!!

I want to be a loner/hermit!!!!

I want to not give a f*ck about everyone and everything! (kick imaginary stray can)

I want to change my lifestyle!!!! Do something seriously drastic!!!!

I want to let others know that i had enough of their bullsh*t.. yup yup so many, so many.

I am unhappy and I want to SHOW it!

I want to travel...

I want to be able to lose weight and not care if my doctor thinks that is a bad idea!!!!

I just want to hurt others and not hurt myself by doing so.

days like these

i wonder if my colleagues realised that i would rather not join them for KTV today... Not because i dont like their company but because i dont feel good... dun feel physically good... dun feel mentally good. haiz...

is this another case in which i am not persistent enough? not strong willed enough? too easily swayed? Why is it that 1 "no", 2 "no"s and still they are not impactful enough to bring my point across? Most of the time, i would love to be in their company... share (from the side) the high-ness generated by them... and let them fill my emptiness but today... i just wanted to curl up at home and maybe catch up with some work. Did i behave correctly by going along, being nice and not wanting to hurt their feelings? But did they feel that i rather not be there?

i feel bad that i have to oblige my colleagues because i love them like my frens and i rather not have to feel obliged. But sometimes... i am shocked by the things they say... like knife jabs into my body...

tired, uncontented and simply disturbed

i swear that i am up to no bad.

the change in me is obvious. when i look into the mirror i see the reddish glow caused by a pool crazy day at Sentosa. it was so so so cooling to be in the cold pool in the hot sun... i guess i got pool crazy and the sun burnt my skin a little too zesty-ly. my shoulders look as if the blood veins have all burst just beneath my skin's surface, they and all other part of my skin feel scalding hot to the touch... my cotton tee shirt shafts terribly even with my lathering my body with aloe-vera gel. what a way to start the new year huh?!

But that is not the only physical change in me... and nor the most important one... but i will leave it at that. the more radical/ outstanding changes i see in me are the intangible ones... it is hard to explain but i dont feel like the old grace anymore... and that is SAD. maybe i should change something. something close to me.. something around me.. to get back to what i used to be...

should i leave things to be as it is or should i make a change? this year 2010 (better state it else i will think it is 2009 again) will it be another year of great changes? what will change? will it make or break me? will i be a better person?



Dear God, i have changed and You know it. Santa didnt give me a present last year not because im naughty but because santa didnt come. maybe i should feel relief that the shades are finally lifted but i felt more like someone close to me died. dear God, is this your plan? for children to grow up- and irrevocably and surely lose their innocence? dear God, i always believe that as long as i have You, i do not need to be afraid, that as long as You are with me... i can win battles and wars. maybe it isnt as simple eh? grace and faith... grace and faith.. but what if the world deems that they are not enough? i want to do well in life... so tell me (please) is it grace and faith, or simply acts to succeed in life... .... i feel terrible that i have to ask... and i know it is rhetorical... because You state it clearly and i am not dumb... then why is it still so difficult?