Back to square uno

the trip was a fruitful one for me. i met the other candidate who is going with me. i met my collegues and bosses (director, GM, COO, even CEO). i toured the office (no small feat- because it was a huge place) and the various plants.

i had numerous meals a day (this can be a worry), was driven around the area, went to a disco club and met even more managers. we drink, yes i drink too. there really isnt a choice of not drinking (another hurdle to cross).

el sabado, bebo y bailo en un bar por la noche, despues regreso a mi hotel a las doce del noche. Que muy tarde! Despite the cold (around 10degC pero no nevar) i have to wash up every night because my clothes and hair smell like cigarette smoke (yup everyone smokes)

There seems like a lot of cons... but honestly... the pros are quite signicant too. so here i am... condsidering

flying off

Will be flying off to China Guangzhou for 2 days, 25th to 27th this month (friday to Sunday). the purpose is to see my potential employer- Southern Packaging Grp Ltd. I will be paying for the airtickets and hotel if i decide after viewing the company that it is not suitable, else the company will cover the expenses. At this point, i do not think there is much to elaborate yet, since nothing is fixed.

i will just keep an open mind and take things as they come.

just some thoughts

I thought, maybe, since I have so much free time, I should go back to penning my thoughts (for free, for course… to you poor souls out there reading this.) you know, already I feel a little turned off because I am not doing this properly… I prefer the old fashion, pen and paper thing….despite my atrocious spelling and grammar problem.

Its funny, what conditioning can do to a person. I guess, I am just too used to the idea of scribbling down every and any thing onto paper. I also prefer to read from paper, than from the computer screen etc. But, I cannot imagine how I would literal die if one day, spellcheck is banned.

Anyway, let’s talk about life, my life to be exact. I am born in a peaceful country with high GDP per capita. Here, the majority of the people do not even consider what the relative poverty rate is, much more the absolute poverty line.

My family is the typical Singaporean family – dual income, middle income group. My parents are still alive (praise the lord), my brothers are the bane of my life (no surprise there) and I am average. Average looks, average intelligence, and average size… just short of average height.

So what has average or typical has to do with my life? Well, that is just it! I am sick of this average… I know, I not a princess, and do I live out some fairytale life. I don’t get carried off by princes or slay fire breathing dragons (I am princess who wants to slay dragons too) but I feel so ordinary. I know that everyone is special, because that is the grand plan. But I feel so lackluster… like my life is colored in shades of gray.

I fail, like all man. I succeed, like all man. I laugh, I cry, I escape, like all man. And I do all these in moderation, LIKE ALL MAN! I am not saying that I want to be superman (or superwoman)… I just want some glitter, some sequins, a ribbon or 2 to be sew into my life. Is that too much to ask for? I just want some purpose, some motivation, a talent or 2…

I would wish I never fail or know what bitterness taste like. But that kind of life isn’t normal… only happens in dreams and TV dramas. If I never know failure or bitterness, how then would I discover that the recovery stage of them all is so glorious? The heart too teaches in this manner. It takes the heart to ache (and even break), before it could recognize true love.

Many things are being taught, no, I mean learnt… by trial and error. Even nature takes such an approach. Little is often gained by first analyzing, rather, the first step is to observe.

It sure is painful…

Nope... didnt get the job that i really want

... nothing more to say.

burnt my shoulders

its only wednesday... (okay, i mean thursday after looking at the time on my laptop) and already im tired out... monday i went for 2 interviews... as i have previously mentioned. tuesday i went cycling at pulau ubin with A&W (Ahmad and Wilson, both i knew only from SIA interview)... it was a grand experience...(not discounting my burnt shoulders, my painful buttocks, my aching arms and the mosquito bites i have got). However, i really enjoyed the wind on my face. despite the day being very sunny and hot, going down slope is very cooling, my visor flew off on one occasion... the 3 of us crap about alot. i cant believe how easy it was, becoming their friend... we met less than 5 times... since we first met.... and already we are very slack and lame when we get together. they are 1 of the 2 best things i got out from SIA, the other is experience.

Today, (i mean wednesday) i paint my house [pinto mi casa], 1 living room and 3 bedrooms [un salon y tres habitacones]. i didnt doing it all myself of course. my papa and mama and my youngest brother also paint with me. [pinto mi casa con mis padres y mi hermano]. it was hard work but we did it! now my room looks like a girly shop with the peppermint colored walls and a huge pink desk. i didnt think it would turn out so young... but it was different and not too bad.. haha.. its very cheerful and bright... hope, i will be like that too...

Also, i have received calls from both companies where i interviewed, i got into the final interview.... but whether i will get the job is still a big question mark.... gosh... well.... i will tell you guys more next time...

i really want the job that i will be going for interview on this friday... which technically means tomorrow!!!! So please give it to me.

no P&G but have GFs

got some bad news....i didnt get the P&G job.... there, i said it. Now, i just have to tell myself to forget about it and move on. i wonder if being big on moving on is a good thing? all things change... all living things die... if life isnt about moving on.. what is it about?

i got 2 interviews tomorrow, both in town area, one at 2.30 another at 5.15pm. So i will most probably have some time to burn. will drop by SMU and hope to see some familiar faces there. my mom told me to not be so quick to like the jobs... after all i need to know more about it first, thats why im going for the interview... its a 'get to know you session' for both parties.

Well, serious news aside.. it was great meeting my girlfriends (J.L.T) on Saturday... it was supposed to be a xmas gathering.. but as usual, it was postponed (for a few times). but, better late than never right? so, im so glad we got to meet up! i still do not really like NY,NY but its atmosphere is alright. fondue was great... i mean hello???? melted chocolate with ice-cream and fruits cant really go wrong. i love the presents. thanks, tian!

We have been friends for so long... since secondary school... and now already... 2 are in their career hood, 1 looking for a career and 1 graduating soon... i strongly believe we will see each other's wedding... at least 1. haha... i really hope that we do.

friends are so precious... so dont lose them.

Shopping with Family

I really enjoyed spending yesterday with my cousins. We spent almost a whole day at Far East Plaza. I got 2 tops while they got numerous tops and jeans... skinny jeans rox! We tried lots of shoes but like what Em said "there is always something (one thing) wrong with it" and "nothing screams "buy me!"".

I was actually quite surprised that i have enjoyed it so much... this must be one of the few times we went out shopping with them in years. In the past, we always spent v little during our so called shopping trips which only consist of going to Eastpoint and since JC we have not had so much time to spent with each other...

Sometimes things get awkward, at least to me,when our parents are around us. i know it sounds weird but these cousins of mine are more like friends then relatives to me. Thus, with parents around... i sometimes find difficulties interacting with them... because it just seems 'off' to treat them like my friends in front of all our parents...

That said, i definitely want to spent more time with all of them esp. Em and her family. It is fortunate that memories esp. the good ones tend to stay with me for a long time... and i can call upon it still. what is life but a collection of memories. and in that line of thinking, the loss of memories is like the loss of life- death.

A well lived life, would be one filled with countless beautiful and good memories. And i look forward to having such a life with all my friends and family around me.

Another beginning

My 2008 beginning is a little subdued, but it was fine by me. Yihui and I spent dinner and afterwards at our friend's den. We had steamboat with shabu-shabu...(the shabu-shabu disappeared faster then you can say "shabushhh-"). We were all watching the countdown (on the TV, it was not very good, to say the least) when the hosts began to countdown... 10, 9, 8,--5, 4, 3, 2, 1.... ok, happy new year.... yup. that is it. Then it was Jan 1 00:01, Now it is 2nd Jan 20:17. Man, does time takes the bullet train.... Most of the guys spent the early morning of Jan 1 playing poker...

My new year resolution (and why not? because everyone have them...though not many actually managed to fulfill them) is to not lose more friends then i have already had and to keep our friendships strong. Losing my Hp has drastically reduced my contacts... (if you guys reading this suspect that i have lost ur numbers (esp. if u have recently changed them), pls sms me with ur name and number alright?)

So today, Yihui and I had out first date of 2008. I made him brunch consisting of simple sandwiches, we catch a movie (National Treasure 2).. we went to observe prawning to see if it would be fun.. we took a long walk with a good breeze... and had dinner at LJS. it was a simple affair, not pricey but there was lots of room for conversation and hand-holding... a good couple time. may it be something that will continue throughout the year, even after i had found a job and he acing his studies...