Esmee Denters - New Vidz

MUST WATCH!!!
Memories Turn to Dust:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2m2deatJdg

See her live concert here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LsqctM169Mc

it poured and poured

the sky opened into a black hole
which did not vacuum but
poured and poured.

i wished for my teddy bear
as the car made light work of
cutting rain into rain-lets.

Stepping out of the shower
with the smell of soap and steam
still clung to my skin.

i took time to burrow into
my thick towel, whist dreaming
to slide between my bed and blankie.

and yet here i am...

Champagne anyone?

Just made a trip to the tailor to get my dress done... dress for one of my closest frens wedding this dec. In champagne... yup... the color of champagne.. light translucent gold-ish color.

And i was intro to this blogsite which sell dresses that i really really like!!!!! anyway... i will add more to my blog side bar under Her Interests when i come across nice ones... hee

oh ya. on a serious note... i think i am paranoid... really SERIOUSLY... my period has been horrendous-long drawing and not the light. light kind... i hear my heartbeat without trying so often i am beginning to think that is normal (is it?)... i have bad headaches at last for 1 full day now and then... haiz... if i do die... i just want to say i will miss ya... if i dont die but get some terrible (touch wood) illness, i rather die... and if it is nothing... and like i say... im just paranoid then you guys can just laugh at me, in fact we can all laugh together...

watever it is... rem, we had fun!

random eye attack

things i see and noted:
1. 2 cats napping with smiles on their faces sheltered from the hot afternoon sun
2. toddlers walk in a fashion so wobblery that it makes you wonder how they do it
3. being there to watch your nieces and nephews grow up is kinda cool
4. the song Hurt by Christina Augulira is super neat!
5. a neighbour paint his/her door a disgusting shade of yellow.

X factor- lucie jones

Really worth to listen

daddy's pain

it must be hard, a daddy's duty... to build a sturdy fortress and then dig a moat so deep and as wide as the longest draw bridge to protect his daughter.... it must be even more painful to watch his daughter grow up in the sheltered castle... and then, many times more to lower the draw bridge and show her the real world... and how that pales in comparison to the world she grew up in...

i cant help but feel upset and angry that the world i am living in is so terrible and worst still... so terribly real.

i know i shouldnt be complaining, oh me, of the princessy-spoiltbrat girl... who manages to grow up with everything her little heart desired. lollies, ring-pops, ribbon and bows, dresses with matching sling bags... pumpkin patch dolls, barbies and dollhouses to go with them all..

But... how painful it is.. to realise so late... that the world i used to grow up in is all make believe...

been thinking...

not a good thing i tell you... me thinking means i am 'lost' yup, yes sirree... almost got knock down by a car.. because i was busy trying to get my thoughts into my iphone... shitteee (seriously). but still... here is a peak into my thoughts for now..

second life... that is what advancement in technology and medicine has given us... when i am 60 or 70.. and still alive... i could (if i am still healthy) be shopping.. having lunches/ dinners with my pals...i could still be traveling... learning a new skill or reading books at the library... sheesh... sounds like now right? minus the work la... of cos.

Grace is getting married.. not this Grace... another Grace :) and i am so glad for her and nigel! :) you guys sure went thr alot... and nigel is so capable... and Grace is even more capable... im sure she will rule over nigel in important things.. hahhaa.. nah, i dun noe about tat la but still... they are a loving couple. which makes it 3, 3 close pals... getting married this year (1st Jan also count la) and then Tian's engagement for her wedding next year... i guess... most people look to 25 -28 as age for marriage... hm... still single and still wondering if i will ever meet the my other half.. sometimes it gets down right depressing... because you have no 1 to turn to... my frens are swell, really but i need my other half... how can i put it to you without sounding desperate and pathetic? i wish i have somebody... somebody who will be with me every step of the way...

A class for the heart

white washed walls,
four in all and students
seated on the marble floor.
that was the study room
of my Saturday class.

the group of us are still on Genesis... sadly i believe J. that we will take till 2010 to finish that chapter... (looking at their + our track record). We learn that in Ch 14 Abram rescues Lot and ch15. God's covenant with Abram..

1. Melchizedek king of Salem is an important figure in the bible but very mysterious... he paves the way for Jesus but where did he come from?
2. Abram rescues Lot despite that he can not lift 1 finger for Lot.
4. God credited Abram as righteous because Abram believe Him
5. Being righteous means you have faith... and "by grace, through faith" only will we be saved... saved from hell?
6. when God seal our pact with him... he walks between 2 parties... (side note: how does that work in a marriage?)

we had a really long discussion on Righteousness.. and even know i feel like i still have questions... (big sigh....)

i think, i have a good idea of what He wants me to do... He wants me to jump... to leap... and i guess to take the plunge blindly... i mean anything else... and it wont be called faith rite? i THINK i know that i have the prerequisite... after all, i am named thus... so now it is my end of the bargain...

please hear my prayer...
Dear God, give me a sign.. if that is not too much to ask for... please give me something to grasp... teach me to put my logic aside, teach me to use my heart to find you instead of my mind. i seat amongst your children... hearing their softly mumbled prayers, said so hurriedly as if there was no time... while i cannot make out what the prayers consist of... i can tell they are sincere and hopeful... in the room, i feel like an alien... like an outsider... yet i can feel their warmth... and i think You were with us that day, in the white washed room... watching over us.. and i know you can hear us... i know you will answer us... wont you?

X factor-

Good day, bad news

a respite from my usual zip to work
i followed the beige sheltered walkways,
cross the sun-baked tiled square
down cement stairs, flanked by grass
overdue for their paid cut.

plugged-in to my ipod which
jutted out from my shallow skirt
pocket, i sang along
in a half-carried way
a tune too upbeat
for the journey.

despite the laptop weight
on my shoulder, my mood
was light and my step- quick,
even in my 2-inch heels.
tapping to the music while
i queued for the bus.

the Singapore Meteorological Station
served individual rainclouds these days
i note the one park at my head..
it wasnt too bad until the storm hit- Cancer,
strike my play mate.

now, is it still a wonder
how beautiful the day was for me?
because i could be laying
on a bed instead
of going to work today.

somedays i am just so terrible

Hah... terrible with people i mean...

my spoken words- misconstrued
my actions- misleading
my ideas- misunderstood
missed, missed, missed.

honestly, you want to know how to manage genYs...
truthfully? even i want to know how to manage myself.

Yes, there are differences... but really... before we address these differences....
i would like to clarify some points:

1. what exactly do you want?
2. if you know what you want, have you communicated this clearly?
3. if you did, are the systems in place to allow us to achieve this?
4. if yes, does the fact that the methods differ affects the end result?
5. if yes, i will make the necessary changes.

why are the steps important? simple.
1. if you dont know what you want... it is not surprising we are all going in all directions
2. if it is not communicated clearly. what may go wrong, will go wrong.
3. if the systems are not in place... you are just telling me a different story
4. if you rather things to be done in a particular method, you have to say so
5. because, you only want to see results right?
or have i mis-understood you since the beginning?

just pissing around...

car accident

shit happens on the expressway....
haiz... the car behind didnt break in time..
crashed into my aunts car...
which i happen to be driving... (double shit)

gosh... when it happened... i was simply stunned.
really, there is no words for that...
like my brain couldnt understand what happened.

sheesh... this better not left any permanent damage/scar to me man.
legs felt like jelly... but better now...
But must thank god for no injuries.

wondering what the future would be - a poem

i wonder some times,
how the future would be.
would it be familiar
or a stranger to me?

whether children still grow up with TV
or maybe the little mini PC?
are teddy bears and dolls still a favorite of little girls
and little boys, their model cars and toy soldiers?

or perhaps, i am too clouded.
i should ask instead-
are there still birds and trees?
and non-domesticated animals to see?

if all this is naught to be
then maybe perhaps it is better like this-
just wondering some times
how the future would be.

STOMPing thr milestones

the matchgirl on the streets, wishing on her matchsticks.. she got her wish but died for it.
- i wonder what is the message of the story....

Some milestones...
1. Played my first round of Rockband, as vocalist and drummer... but on easy mode. hahahah
2. First Anniversary at 3M - 15th Sept
3. Got myPride and Prejudice and Zombies!!! yeah yeah yeah
4. Got my iphone 3gs! cool!
5. Attended first 1-1 bible study over desert.... hahaha
(not in any particular order)

HK in Summer

From Disneyland, HK

From Esprit fitting room, HK

From a coffeehouse, HK

From the Peak, HK

With Love...