my dearest, and i mean all of you.
i dont want to write another entry of heavy loneliness...
i think i am beginning to understand why some people are always be in a relationship. There is something unexplainable about burrowing your face in his shoulders, about placing your palms flat on his chest, about feeling his heartbeat, about walking your fingers on his skin, about watching his eyes, his smile, and playing his expressions in slow motion when he is not with you. there is that the resonating sound of a gong when you run into his arms, the sweet and oh-so-delicious bounce when your bodies meet, the very tangible and satisfying grasp of your hands on his arms, the soft silky whisper his hair makes when your fingers weave in. the addiction which makes your lips reluctant to leave his.
these make my hands itch, my heart long, my soul hungry... because i have tasted it. i know how it felt. that incredible, intense and drug-ery experience of love.
....so instead, i have written about the heavy pull of desire...
Side note:
if you have not, please go to T. of Magpies (under Her Interest, on your right, and read the entry on Sunday 29th of March.). It is absolutely clever and hilarious... haha... (i so want that book!)
Monday, March 30, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
missing something
have you ever felt that you are missing something?
you arent quite sure what exactly, except that you are not complete.
it is more than having a religion; it is more than having a twin. more, even than having a lover, i think.
i dont know why, but i do feel like that quite frequently. turning to friends, to music, to books, to.. to the sky for company, for answers- to fill my void. i need something but i dont know what. there is a something out there, someone maybe, some thingy that will fit me, just right... something to make me glow, and not just for a while. something that will make my life a lot more worthwhile, a lot more rich, a lot MORE.
i dont know if waiting is the right strategy, however, i seriously doubt it. but how do i go about taking action? being pro-active? can i drop my work, my family and just GO? because there is something, someone maybe, just around the corner, just around the bend.
have you ever felt like you are missing something?
you arent quite sure what exactly, except that you are not complete.
it is more than having a religion; it is more than having a twin. more, even than having a lover, i think.
i dont know why, but i do feel like that quite frequently. turning to friends, to music, to books, to.. to the sky for company, for answers- to fill my void. i need something but i dont know what. there is a something out there, someone maybe, some thingy that will fit me, just right... something to make me glow, and not just for a while. something that will make my life a lot more worthwhile, a lot more rich, a lot MORE.
i dont know if waiting is the right strategy, however, i seriously doubt it. but how do i go about taking action? being pro-active? can i drop my work, my family and just GO? because there is something, someone maybe, just around the corner, just around the bend.
have you ever felt like you are missing something?
Saturday, March 28, 2009
it was erm... an...adventure
Collected the car at Novena Square.
(Got an Adidas sport shoe along the way)
Circled Newton Circle
Circled Newton Circle (just realised to exit from Scott Rd)
Drove along Orchard Rd
Drove along Orchard Rd (Took wrong turn before Grange Rd)
Reach Dempsey Road
Had tea at House
(Found out that they do not have wireless! (when they promised that they have))
Drove along Commonwealth Ave West
Drove along Commonwealth Ave West (exit too early so i had to go back)
Missed IMM carpark
Got into IMM carpark (All levels full except level 6)
(tested promoter on duty - pass :) )
(promoter sold 3 units)
Drove along PIE - BKE - SLE - Woodlands
(Surf online at Starbucks - checking flights to Aussie)
Reach home
(parked damn far away because carpark full... sheesh)
All these could not have been possible without my dear brave friend - Jes.
who have learnt how to read a streetdirectory from me.. hahaha...
and for feeding me food while i drive around haha...
it was really fun!!!! lets do it again next time... (crazily smiling)
(Got an Adidas sport shoe along the way)
Circled Newton Circle
Circled Newton Circle (just realised to exit from Scott Rd)
Drove along Orchard Rd
Drove along Orchard Rd (Took wrong turn before Grange Rd)
Reach Dempsey Road
Had tea at House
(Found out that they do not have wireless! (when they promised that they have))
Drove along Commonwealth Ave West
Drove along Commonwealth Ave West (exit too early so i had to go back)
Missed IMM carpark
Got into IMM carpark (All levels full except level 6)
(tested promoter on duty - pass :) )
(promoter sold 3 units)
Drove along PIE - BKE - SLE - Woodlands
(Surf online at Starbucks - checking flights to Aussie)
Reach home
(parked damn far away because carpark full... sheesh)
All these could not have been possible without my dear brave friend - Jes.
who have learnt how to read a streetdirectory from me.. hahaha...
and for feeding me food while i drive around haha...
it was really fun!!!! lets do it again next time... (crazily smiling)
Grace is feeling...
im painting my nails black
im going for a drive-ride
i have cried
i have been biten
i have gotten even
if you want a piece of me, take a Q ticket.
im going for a drive-ride
i have cried
i have been biten
i have gotten even
if you want a piece of me, take a Q ticket.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Today in my life
What I see
Is the bible on his desk and he already left
Is the angry sky and the lack of stars
Is the circle of old men sitting at the park
Is the father and son B-ball team
Is 'fuck' on the lift door
Is the empty house.
What you see?
...
The words or the breast
Is the bible on his desk and he already left
Is the angry sky and the lack of stars
Is the circle of old men sitting at the park
Is the father and son B-ball team
Is 'fuck' on the lift door
Is the empty house.
What you see?
...
The words or the breast
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
So excited (*fan face frantically)
im in the midst of planning for a holiday in Aussie... we are thinking of Perth and Melbourne... in mid may... for around a week (altogether).
So, if you have any recommendation for budget hotels, or really nice/interesting youth hostels.. please let me know... sight seeing places, shopping places... activity places... all the jazz!
or even, places to go, where to eat, day tours to join- all that, please tag on my tagbox... ok?
oh ya, when i say in the midst of... i mean, we are seriously going to Australia in May.. will be booking the air-tickets in the next week...
So, if you have any recommendation for budget hotels, or really nice/interesting youth hostels.. please let me know... sight seeing places, shopping places... activity places... all the jazz!
or even, places to go, where to eat, day tours to join- all that, please tag on my tagbox... ok?
oh ya, when i say in the midst of... i mean, we are seriously going to Australia in May.. will be booking the air-tickets in the next week...
Monday, March 23, 2009
Woman, stand up to receive your applause
Last Sunday, in the middle of my Pilates class, surrounded by women of all ages, I was overcome by a knee-weakling sense of homecoming and belongingness. It was as if my search for who I am has finally come to its final resting place.
I felt connected to each and every lady in the studio as we pump our legs in the air, balance on our bums, and do the various curls and flexes. Their faces glow with the same fierce determination as mine as we fight to keep several of our body parts lifted in the air for as long as we can.
Maybe that is a small, small part of how man in army feel- the kind of bonding that only comes because everyone is fighting to better oneself.
But, back to the core of my telling, what I really want to expound on (for now) is how great women are. March is the month to celebrate this wonderful creation of God, known simply as Woman.
To the mothers out there, and the mothers-to-be, you ladies deserve to be pampered every minute, to be worshiped everywhere for not only bring a child to labour, but also to nourish and nurture them till they are people of their own rights.
To the rest of my sisters out there, for the support you have shown your fellow sisters in times of need, for your courage to face each day optimistic, for your kindness, gentleness, goodness to people less fortunate than you.
I bow to your strength.
May you always remember your worth, your dignity and the courage innate in you.
I felt connected to each and every lady in the studio as we pump our legs in the air, balance on our bums, and do the various curls and flexes. Their faces glow with the same fierce determination as mine as we fight to keep several of our body parts lifted in the air for as long as we can.
Maybe that is a small, small part of how man in army feel- the kind of bonding that only comes because everyone is fighting to better oneself.
But, back to the core of my telling, what I really want to expound on (for now) is how great women are. March is the month to celebrate this wonderful creation of God, known simply as Woman.
To the mothers out there, and the mothers-to-be, you ladies deserve to be pampered every minute, to be worshiped everywhere for not only bring a child to labour, but also to nourish and nurture them till they are people of their own rights.
To the rest of my sisters out there, for the support you have shown your fellow sisters in times of need, for your courage to face each day optimistic, for your kindness, gentleness, goodness to people less fortunate than you.
I bow to your strength.
May you always remember your worth, your dignity and the courage innate in you.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
do you wish for the same?
i was a IKEA Tampines today.. after coming back from Expo.
Do you know there is a Robinson Sale, an Adidas Sale, a Popular Sale, a Food Fest and a few other sales/events going on there?
But anyway, the main point of my entry is something i observed at IKEA. I was queuing to pay for my snacks at the cashier and in front of me was a mother and her 3 daughters. I would say it was a relatively young mother maybe 35-tops and her daughters were between 3 - 9. Because, i did not see their father, i thought it was a 'mother and daughter' kind of outing. and i guess, i conveniently and incorrectly labelled the father to be MIA... my mistake here.
Because, before it was their turn at the cashier, a man (the father/husband) appear in our line of sight, holding an ice-cream (to the delight of his daughters and wife). the youngest (leaning tiredly in the arms of the mothers) became 'awake', the 2 children vacate their place beside their mom and began pulling their dad's arms and hand... the mother smiled.. and in a very generous manner scolded her husband for buying the ice cream when they said previously that they wont indulge their children. by that time, everyone is taking a lick of the ice-cream and smiling happily. i took a quick glance at the man and found him to be very pleased at himself (for buying the ice cream, no doubt, but more importantly for making his family happy). it made me feel very envious...(haha so honest).
a happy family - many people's dream... as i have shown, it really isnt the big occasions... but the little ones that happen frequently and inconspicuously that truly defines a happy family.
Do you know there is a Robinson Sale, an Adidas Sale, a Popular Sale, a Food Fest and a few other sales/events going on there?
But anyway, the main point of my entry is something i observed at IKEA. I was queuing to pay for my snacks at the cashier and in front of me was a mother and her 3 daughters. I would say it was a relatively young mother maybe 35-tops and her daughters were between 3 - 9. Because, i did not see their father, i thought it was a 'mother and daughter' kind of outing. and i guess, i conveniently and incorrectly labelled the father to be MIA... my mistake here.
Because, before it was their turn at the cashier, a man (the father/husband) appear in our line of sight, holding an ice-cream (to the delight of his daughters and wife). the youngest (leaning tiredly in the arms of the mothers) became 'awake', the 2 children vacate their place beside their mom and began pulling their dad's arms and hand... the mother smiled.. and in a very generous manner scolded her husband for buying the ice cream when they said previously that they wont indulge their children. by that time, everyone is taking a lick of the ice-cream and smiling happily. i took a quick glance at the man and found him to be very pleased at himself (for buying the ice cream, no doubt, but more importantly for making his family happy). it made me feel very envious...(haha so honest).
a happy family - many people's dream... as i have shown, it really isnt the big occasions... but the little ones that happen frequently and inconspicuously that truly defines a happy family.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Dinner thoughts at eleven thirty
Dinner IS a bowl of instant noodle
no egg, just veg-
how i like it.
my companion at the dining table - my Japanese bowl
it misses its twin in china, like
i missed its owner.
Eleven-thirty and
only three fifths of the home filled.
two fifth awake.
Moms traveling
but the car is not parked here
i yearn to possess it even a little
Dinner thoughts at eleven thirty
Shared between girl and computer
and whoever reading now
no egg, just veg-
how i like it.
my companion at the dining table - my Japanese bowl
it misses its twin in china, like
i missed its owner.
Eleven-thirty and
only three fifths of the home filled.
two fifth awake.
Moms traveling
but the car is not parked here
i yearn to possess it even a little
Dinner thoughts at eleven thirty
Shared between girl and computer
and whoever reading now
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
a reminder from an ANNgel
Snippet of my conversation with my angel:
Me, "i worry about my parents man... they are getting old"
ANNgel, "haha, you are getting older too.."
Me, "ya.. i know but i dont mind dying you know. rather me than people around me." (totally for selfish reasons)
ANNgel, "huh?"
Me, "i mean, i rather die than to have others around me die."
ANNgel, "You cannot!"
Me, "Huh?!!"
ANNgel, "Grace, you cant die, you are not save yet!"
Me, "..."
Together, " hahahaha....."
Trust my angel to drop a reminder to me like that... but still, thanks for the thought... i know you mean the best for me... maybe i am just taking a long road you know... i mean maybe God wants me to circle around a little bit longer you know before running into his arms.
Me, "i worry about my parents man... they are getting old"
ANNgel, "haha, you are getting older too.."
Me, "ya.. i know but i dont mind dying you know. rather me than people around me." (totally for selfish reasons)
ANNgel, "huh?"
Me, "i mean, i rather die than to have others around me die."
ANNgel, "You cannot!"
Me, "Huh?!!"
ANNgel, "Grace, you cant die, you are not save yet!"
Me, "..."
Together, " hahahaha....."
Trust my angel to drop a reminder to me like that... but still, thanks for the thought... i know you mean the best for me... maybe i am just taking a long road you know... i mean maybe God wants me to circle around a little bit longer you know before running into his arms.
Crazy happy-ing around
I know he is watching as I pace around.
I know he smiles at my silly dancing antics.
I know he winces when I went off key singing out loud.
Because, I look up, and he is still there looking down.
Orion, the hunter.
I think he must be happy now, that I am happy.
I know he smiles at my silly dancing antics.
I know he winces when I went off key singing out loud.
Because, I look up, and he is still there looking down.
Orion, the hunter.
I think he must be happy now, that I am happy.
Monday, March 16, 2009
My hands
hands have a very special place in my heart. They are as important to me as my eyes are. and that is saying a lot.
i often stare at my hands - despite them not being very pretty things. But i stare because they are fascinating to me. i love to draws hands... in their various actions and poses. i think they are sexy some times.. haha. you know? the very subtle kind of sexy?
the numerous and uncountable criss-cross of lines on the back and palm of my hands, the valleys and shallow hills of the my knuckles, the flat, dull plains of my nails and the cracks in my cuticles. (i know i should take better care of them... but then, these flaws gives my hand character dont they?)
the open palm signals 'please', ' you first/ go ahead'. two open palms are what toddlers would run safely into, becoming a hug, a cuddle, a lift into the air. hands are the most common medium of human touch, they could be a pat on the back, a rub of the tummy, a caress and even use when giving a massage. Or, they could simply, just hold you... and provide in the peaceful lull of silence, the most comfortable companionship you will ever receive.
Most importantly, i think hands are very personal...at least for me, they are. they are a direct extension of me, my will, my heart. they are mine to do as i please. mine to offer to others in times of need, mine to reach out and touch others. when i love, they love too.
my hands are small, but they are my own.
i often stare at my hands - despite them not being very pretty things. But i stare because they are fascinating to me. i love to draws hands... in their various actions and poses. i think they are sexy some times.. haha. you know? the very subtle kind of sexy?
the numerous and uncountable criss-cross of lines on the back and palm of my hands, the valleys and shallow hills of the my knuckles, the flat, dull plains of my nails and the cracks in my cuticles. (i know i should take better care of them... but then, these flaws gives my hand character dont they?)
the open palm signals 'please', ' you first/ go ahead'. two open palms are what toddlers would run safely into, becoming a hug, a cuddle, a lift into the air. hands are the most common medium of human touch, they could be a pat on the back, a rub of the tummy, a caress and even use when giving a massage. Or, they could simply, just hold you... and provide in the peaceful lull of silence, the most comfortable companionship you will ever receive.
Most importantly, i think hands are very personal...at least for me, they are. they are a direct extension of me, my will, my heart. they are mine to do as i please. mine to offer to others in times of need, mine to reach out and touch others. when i love, they love too.
my hands are small, but they are my own.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Death quoted
"Dont be afraid of death, be afraid of un-lived life."
- Tuck in movie- Everlasting Tuck.
"I can teach you how to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses. I can tell you how to bottle fame, brew glory, and even put a stopper in death"
-Snape in book: The Philosopher's Stone
"Death is the one thing that connects us all. It reminds us that what's really important is who we've touched, how much we've given. It makes us realize that we have to be good to one another."
- Peter.P in tv series- Heroes
"Who am I? Just a friend. Sometimes. Maybe. Sorry I couldn't help any. Be seeing you... "
- Death in graphic novel- Sandman
- Tuck in movie- Everlasting Tuck.
"I can teach you how to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses. I can tell you how to bottle fame, brew glory, and even put a stopper in death"
-Snape in book: The Philosopher's Stone
"Death is the one thing that connects us all. It reminds us that what's really important is who we've touched, how much we've given. It makes us realize that we have to be good to one another."
- Peter.P in tv series- Heroes
"Who am I? Just a friend. Sometimes. Maybe. Sorry I couldn't help any. Be seeing you... "
- Death in graphic novel- Sandman
Friday, March 13, 2009
nanoNANOnanoNano....
this will be quick.. because i got my ipod nano!!! woo hoo!!!! hee hee.. yeah hey!!! (crazy jumps around) haha...
Guess what color!!! (wicked smile)
kk, got to go play with it!
Guess what color!!! (wicked smile)
kk, got to go play with it!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
God painted the moon into dove's eye
im supposed to be in bed already... but i really wanted to share something with you.
I want to paint the moon! Like how the clouds did it today. The moon look so beautiful.
I have this crazy idea looking at the moon tonight... that God drew a dove in the night sky today, and place the moon as its eye...
The clouds form the shape of a dove, against the backdrop of the midnight sky, and where the head was, the moon shine brightly as an eye. Beautiful...
I want to paint the moon! Like how the clouds did it today. The moon look so beautiful.
I have this crazy idea looking at the moon tonight... that God drew a dove in the night sky today, and place the moon as its eye...
The clouds form the shape of a dove, against the backdrop of the midnight sky, and where the head was, the moon shine brightly as an eye. Beautiful...
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
True Statements (about grace)
Sometimes, I just feel like being honest, other times, I just am.
When I see couples on the streets, I do feel a little sad nowadays.
Sometimes I feel like the princess of my world, sometimes I feel like the slave girl.
If you get skin privileges, it means we are close.
I love looking at pictures and photos more than being in them.
I will trust you before I know you. That is my gift to you.
But, I do not believe in love at first sight.
I am not high on my self-confidence chart.
I love nature, looking at it makes me feel at ease.
I love learning stupid things like manning a boat and navigating on the sea.
I forget them easily so I can learn these things again- they are fun.
Most of the time I feel like a kid, sometimes I feel old, but I never feel like an adult.
When I see couples on the streets, I do feel a little sad nowadays.
Sometimes I feel like the princess of my world, sometimes I feel like the slave girl.
If you get skin privileges, it means we are close.
I love looking at pictures and photos more than being in them.
I will trust you before I know you. That is my gift to you.
But, I do not believe in love at first sight.
I am not high on my self-confidence chart.
I love nature, looking at it makes me feel at ease.
I love learning stupid things like manning a boat and navigating on the sea.
I forget them easily so I can learn these things again- they are fun.
Most of the time I feel like a kid, sometimes I feel old, but I never feel like an adult.
The case FOR free will -Read at own risk!
I thought about it for some time. And believe that the case FOR free will could very well be one of love. That is to say, love is the reason why God gave man free will. I know it may sound superfluous esp. since great thinkers (I do not count myself one of them) have pounded with fists and words on Theology (or better known as, the Philosophy of Religion) with greater intelligence and logic.
It just came to me today (and by these words alone, have I already made you turned off?), while my brain is busy categorizing thoughts (I know you fairly doubt that), that love could be why God gave man the messy and inconvenient thing called Free Will.
If God is like a parent, allowing Her children to ‘spread their wings and fly’ and in doing so, get hurt and lost, it could be because She loves them and want them to live (you know, the cool and hip kind of live?) and learn from their mistakes. If God is a friend, She would also not force her gfs to make Her decision right? Because if you love your friends you don’t peer pressure them.
Of course, I remember my Sunday classes and the part in the bible that told me that God warned Adam & Eve… about the fruit… so, due diligence eh?
Now, “so what?” you’d asked. Well, I thought (pacing up and down)… we all know how grand, and great, and impact-ful, Free will is. Right? (Lets, say for example, you do.)
Then, how much greater is the reason (or cause) for this grand thing? “And that!” (with a Rachel Wiesz accent in the movie The Mummy) is how great Love is.
It just came to me today (and by these words alone, have I already made you turned off?), while my brain is busy categorizing thoughts (I know you fairly doubt that), that love could be why God gave man the messy and inconvenient thing called Free Will.
If God is like a parent, allowing Her children to ‘spread their wings and fly’ and in doing so, get hurt and lost, it could be because She loves them and want them to live (you know, the cool and hip kind of live?) and learn from their mistakes. If God is a friend, She would also not force her gfs to make Her decision right? Because if you love your friends you don’t peer pressure them.
Of course, I remember my Sunday classes and the part in the bible that told me that God warned Adam & Eve… about the fruit… so, due diligence eh?
Now, “so what?” you’d asked. Well, I thought (pacing up and down)… we all know how grand, and great, and impact-ful, Free will is. Right? (Lets, say for example, you do.)
Then, how much greater is the reason (or cause) for this grand thing? “And that!” (with a Rachel Wiesz accent in the movie The Mummy) is how great Love is.
Monday, March 9, 2009
randomly selected posts from my hp's note function 3
6th Mar
Teach me to be still, like an immovable rock which is spinning on de axis of the world.
1st Mar
My way of being special, i have to find it! how to not feel lack-lustre just because i am no longer attached. nor being special because i am single. i wan to feel special just base on who i am and what i do. Where is my spark?
22 Feb
Trap outside in de cold rain, in my shorts and tee. i shiver at de loneliness that creeps in with de recent farewell. My fingers and toes are frozen slow, i cant wave nor make a step . An icy embraced stop de warm of human contract from reaching me. I finally realised that i am a marble statue standing in the city square.
Teach me to be still, like an immovable rock which is spinning on de axis of the world.
1st Mar
My way of being special, i have to find it! how to not feel lack-lustre just because i am no longer attached. nor being special because i am single. i wan to feel special just base on who i am and what i do. Where is my spark?
22 Feb
Trap outside in de cold rain, in my shorts and tee. i shiver at de loneliness that creeps in with de recent farewell. My fingers and toes are frozen slow, i cant wave nor make a step . An icy embraced stop de warm of human contract from reaching me. I finally realised that i am a marble statue standing in the city square.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
I Cant Help Falling In Love With You... enjoy.
The King sang it first... but i think it sound just as decadent, when Andrea Bocelli sang it. This song is so moving, really... how i wish i could make myself love someone good for me... (sad smile) but you really cant.. you cant choose who you fall in love with... isnt that sad? it is so helpless, so futile, so bitter-sweet. Still, maybe thats why love is so addictive?
My greatest achievement?
someone asked me what is my greatest achievement and i couldnt answer because i dun feel that i have done anything near greatness yet.
but i came really close to greatness- i met someone great! or maybe it will be more accurate to say that i just found out that someone i know is great. haha... it may not be his greatest achievement, but to me... if i did what he did... i think THAT will be my greatest achievement!
to risk my own life for another- that must be deserving of the name of 'greatest achievement'... and i am very proud and yet at the same time, humbled that i had the good fortune to meet someone like tat... i think, it must be even better than meeting LKY himself (wink).
i would trade, all my smarts (i know it is not a lot), all my beauty (erm we could debate on whether there is such a thing...) to be anywhere closer to being a more selfless person... a kinder person.. a better person. Gosh... how i admire you...
Thank you God, for giving the world such a great man and for letting him into my life (even a little). :) You are so good to me... maybe that's why i love You so. Keep him safe, please let him continue to do great things in Your name... I know he wants to.
Feeling blessed.
but i came really close to greatness- i met someone great! or maybe it will be more accurate to say that i just found out that someone i know is great. haha... it may not be his greatest achievement, but to me... if i did what he did... i think THAT will be my greatest achievement!
to risk my own life for another- that must be deserving of the name of 'greatest achievement'... and i am very proud and yet at the same time, humbled that i had the good fortune to meet someone like tat... i think, it must be even better than meeting LKY himself (wink).
i would trade, all my smarts (i know it is not a lot), all my beauty (erm we could debate on whether there is such a thing...) to be anywhere closer to being a more selfless person... a kinder person.. a better person. Gosh... how i admire you...
Thank you God, for giving the world such a great man and for letting him into my life (even a little). :) You are so good to me... maybe that's why i love You so. Keep him safe, please let him continue to do great things in Your name... I know he wants to.
Feeling blessed.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
i *heart
Lovely song, loved it when i heard it as a kid... and still loved it because it is still relevant -evergreen. the vid is old, but so what? Goods things last for a long time.. and at least, in their old age, they are still good! Dont discriminate against the old (hint hint lol)
the rain kept me home today... but i really want to go out... to walk among raindrops.. and smell the scent of wet grass and hear the thunder roll leisurely by. i feel like a dog when i press my face (slightly) against the window grill, sniffing the air for the delicate smell of the rain. even as it rains.. i wan to be close to nature. even if it storms, i wish to be embraced by it.
you know how some people live dangerously? i dont. i live carelessly. that is just as dangerous but more accurate to describe me. because, some times i dont mean to live dangerously... i just attract trouble and danger by my actions/ words and wat nots.
Anyways, i think i must have used up all my 'Stay out of home' card yesterday... haha... but, it felt like a really worth it use. ;p 就这样，尽在不言中。
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
the Moon & I
Colored bulbs stringed from tree to tree, like daisy chains which sit on the crowns of little girls' heads. they light up the velvet ebony sky in the absences of the stars and comfort the moon in her solitary existence.
i am in-explicitly drawn to the moon, to the stars, to the night sky. it is as if my heart recognizes that they are my anchors. from an age old instinct of an older time, they have served as signposts and lighthouses to man's foray into the uncharted, un-tame. i still recognize them as such.
but my heart recognizes more than that, it knows unerringly and without taught, that the night sky is a comrade to it (ie. my heart). while i share the moment with the night sky, i take comfort from the fact that others (many others) like me are sharing a similar moment in their own way with it and thus with me. a deep sated imprint of the loneliness of the solitary moon.
Damn nice! i think this is something i will rank equal if not better, than Love Actually. I see myself in some parts of every character... so ya, i think it is... worth owning in dvd... :)
i am in-explicitly drawn to the moon, to the stars, to the night sky. it is as if my heart recognizes that they are my anchors. from an age old instinct of an older time, they have served as signposts and lighthouses to man's foray into the uncharted, un-tame. i still recognize them as such.
but my heart recognizes more than that, it knows unerringly and without taught, that the night sky is a comrade to it (ie. my heart). while i share the moment with the night sky, i take comfort from the fact that others (many others) like me are sharing a similar moment in their own way with it and thus with me. a deep sated imprint of the loneliness of the solitary moon.
Watch it! Buy it!
Monday, March 2, 2009
How do you know
that i am better?
how do you tell?
i fade in and out, on and off
trying to find my happiness
i tag along, i blaze my own
i smile, i laugh, i muse
but most of all,
i live on.
and in living on,
i moved on.
how do you tell?
i fade in and out, on and off
trying to find my happiness
i tag along, i blaze my own
i smile, i laugh, i muse
but most of all,
i live on.
and in living on,
i moved on.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
taking a breather - do you mind?
I finally finished a portion of my work today
And the storm finds time to show its face
We drank tea and chatted away
But mostly, i just sigh and daze.
haiz... why do i feel so restless, so NOT at ease?
Why does peace eludes me?
And the storm finds time to show its face
We drank tea and chatted away
But mostly, i just sigh and daze.
haiz... why do i feel so restless, so NOT at ease?
Why does peace eludes me?
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