Merry Christmas

Good health, good luck, good eating for all! May our friendship strengthen with time.

Gastric

Ate too late. 9.30pm? After I finish my meal and was leaving the pain struck. Wasn't able to walk had to squat by the side of the path to mrt. But the problem was so serious I took a cab home. It hurt all the way back. Reach home at 11.30. Still hurting but less already. Hope everything turns put well. I'm so stupid to eat late. Haiz.

Christmas in October

it is 3 mins past 12. midnight and i am plugged in to random Christmas songs. the weather is chilly and my damp hair sits uncombed on the fluffy towel that i carelessly left on my shoulders. it has been there since i stepped out of the bathroom.

its Christmas! Unbelievable! Oh, how time has flown for me. i still feel like it is only October. Yes, Christmas in October!

So much has happened, how life has picked up and left some pieces unpicked. it truly is like how people described it- life is like a river. and the river is never the same at any point, it picks up rubbles and leaves some them behind, who knows what you will find downstream and what is left upstream? who knows?

what is 2012 going to bring?
what has 2011 gave me?

i fear to look too deeply into them. may i just have the courage to walk forward positively, courageous and without looking back in regret. sometimes, that is all it takes isnt it? dont think too much...

And the song sings "may your days be merry and bright... and may all your Christmases be white..." and while i wish all of you a merry and bright Christmas, i definitely do not want snow in Singapore... already the weather around the world is going topsy turvy... some usual and expected weather will be good.

listening to White Christmas, Winter Wonderland, Santa Baby, All I want for Christmas is You, Blue Christmas, Silver Bells....

Terrible day

Just kill me le.

meeting old friends

Especially after a significant amount of time apart can be quite interesting.
How time has made changes and left some things unchanged.
How we have all grown up in our own ways, and where we are in life now..

I am so happy for the couple expecting their first born! :)
Happy to find people who love their jobs :)
Happy to spend time with great conversationist :)

Other silly and not important things:
1. Paradise Dynasty xiaolongbao is better than DingTaiFeng's
2. Jones the Grocer is a great place. the Ice vanilla latte is great, apple crumble so-so only.
3. My xmas shopping is well on its way already.... lol

A little sore

All that kayaking made me a little sore at my shoulder and lower back. Haha. So old le. But it was damn fun!!! ESP the rain man!

Dreamt of work.

Is the stress surfacing?

Malacca weekend!

Be back on Sunday night! :)

i believe i can

it goes beyond obligation and responsibilities, beyond the need to prove to anybody out there that i can do it, that is the power of passion and love. it is no wonder the wise always advice you to find a job you love... but this is not about a job. it is more simplistic yet powerful than that.

Grandma, if you can read this... or if my dialect is any better...i want to tell you that:

i love you and i want to do something for you, something that will make you realise how much you mean to me. I may not be the best grandchild you have, nor the one that make you proudest, nor the one that gives you the least worries and definitely not the one that fulfills your dreams (yet). but i really love to express my admiration and adoration of you. i know you don't require anything from me, but to be who i am. But if it is within my means, i would like to bring all your love ones to your side and sight and make them show you beyond a doubt of their love, like how i love you. I hope you can understand that I really just want you to be immersed in the love and happiness of being part of my family.

I want to TRAVEL

the title says it all...

Starting Contact fr Scratch

Hi people, pls sms me ur name (full will be good, bec some christian names can be quite common) so that i can rebuild my contact list.

You know my number.

Thanks so much

My poor toes- a fake spell poem

Black as night
While as light
Blood-filled or hollowed
Swollen or dented
At my command
Flesh of mine
Be on the mend!

What you wish for- A poem

While the sun wishes for calmness
The moon, wishes for warmth.
As the grass wishes for growth,
The flower wishes to be alone.

While boys dream of glory,
And girls, ribbons and bows.
Men they dream of ladies
Women, they dream of homes.

I don't know what you dream of
But I know what I want the most
A man of my choosing
Who made me his life source.

Mortality makes me do crazy things

Knowing that I have been given an untold and exhaustible amount of time. Of which I cant carry forward or appeal for extra time, I do crazy and wondrous things. I can't help feeling that work is just a mean to some other end. And my life should not be a carbon copy of what others are doing but a pursuit of what I truly want- which is nothing but happiness!
I should not be too boggled down by social norms because what are they but limitations to conform people so that we are more easily managed. So, what am I saying? Hm... I guess just make sure your life is the one you actively pursue for your own happiness and well-being.

:)

Being involved in a wedding

Is a lot more personal than just attending one. Of cos, a well planned, beautifully executed one will touch you with it's lovingly crafted speeches and thoughtful touches but it is does not give you the insight to the love shared by the couple like being involved in the wedding does.

Yes, it is tiring but I am always glad to be part of something so important to my frens. Thank you for having me.

To Elaine, if and when you see this... I'm ok to making more guy frens but pls stop with matching making la....

Anyway gtg sleeps.

Actmen gathering before Elaine's wedding.

So glad for this bunch of friends.
They are seriously one of the best things I got from SMU.

Drained

It needs getting used to. What I mean are the train rides which make me sleepy, the late dinners which is terrible on my gastric, and the packed schedule and how everyone knows what you supposed to be doing.

But so far, so good. Other than tired and my toes really make me uncomfortable. I'm good. Need to make sure I stay healthy though.

Nitez

Mt. Kinabalu (Part 2- End)

The end of the granite terrain are huge boulders, which isnt a very pleasant sight, but that is exactly how the tip of Mt. KK is to a exhausted, cold and wind-beaten me. To reach the very pinnacle for THE photo is a struggle on all 4 limbs, sticking fingers to the cold and hard rock surface, pushing yourself from 1 boulder to another. It was also a battle against the wind from all directions. And at last, we have reach the 2 by 2 meter tip of Mt. Kinabalu, got all 8 of us in a reasonable space for photo-taking. 3-4 snaps and we are scrambling to leave the summit as the wind was merciless.

Making the downward journey from the summit was difficult on my own. While the day has broken, it highlighted exactly how high up we are and how steep the upward journey had been. The porters again played a large role in aiding me down as they grip our hands and drag us in a steady mountain goat trotting fashion. Seriously, they are key to the speed of our team as they help the ladies navigate both up and down the granite terrain.

Miraculously, we reach Sayat Sayat Checkpoint close to 8am (most likely a little later) and we are offered the opportunity to do VIA Feretta! Of course, at that very cold, tired, hungry and weak state, I did consider letting that slide BUT again... my greedy heart wanted to try it. Luckily, Suichen also is inclined to try it out and so, we did. It was game on for 6 out of 8 of the team!

The harness did gave me a sense of security, as I made the journey on the edge of the cliffs and mountain slopes. But, I have to say that in the beginning of the journey, my hands were wet with fear (in addition to the already soaked gloves), and I was gripping too tightly to the cables and not leaning on my back and not using my legs to support as I wanted to be closer to the 'ground' (if you can call it that). It was about 1/3 of the journey when I realised that I was getting too tired due to the uncomfortable grip and began to loosen up, supporting my back by placing my feet flat on the clip and holding on to the cable in a better more relaxing manner. It was about then, when I could take in the breathtaking views.

Resting (taking water breaks) at the edge of the cliffs, the view stretches as far as your eyes can see. Below the grayish rocks, are shades of rich green, then followed by patches of residential areas made up of tightly packed houses. And the sky, it was clear and blue, with clouds here and there, it was moments like these that life is really about! You get to immerse yourself in the wonder of the world we live in, and you dont think of anything except how beautiful it is.

Finishing the VIA Feretta, we reached Pendant Hut, had a quick 2nd part of our breakfast (hotdogs, eggs and toast), packed up and got ready for our climb down to base. We left around 2pm? (I wasnt sure, since i have practically lose touch of time). The downward journey was the also quite difficult for me mainly because I had no more energy and strength- there were times, I felt my legs give way temporarily. And I hit some rocks and roots on the way down which is the reason why I painted my toes to cover up the greying nails. The toe injury drastically reduce my speed and I have to say, it made every step down (worse for steps down) a freaking pain. But we survived! We reach the base at 6pm - everything was closed but I was happy, happy and proud of myself (and I believe everyone is too).

And that was the end of the trip for me. The rest (going back to the hotel, dinner, flight back) pales in comparison. When I reach Singapore, my movement was hampered greatly, stairs were challenging. Getting up and down, rising and seating, going to bed, going to shit - all of that HURTS but still, I can do it with a smile because I MADE IT!

(End)

Mt. Kinabalu (Part1)

It was a moment of quick&dirty decision making which led me to scaling one of south-east asia's tallest mountain- Mt. Kinabalu. Looking back, i would say it is one of the least thought out decision i have ever made which turn out pretty darn fine.

Jeslyn (my best buddy and partner in all things criminal and frivolous) told me she is going mountain climbing and i thought to myself, "yeah, why not?, climbing a mountain will be cool" plus "if Jes thinks she can do it, i should be able too!" and with that, i filled up the form and made the 50% down payment to Adventure Quest.

The first briefing cum meet up session at Adventure Quest (Sims Ave) was a little awkward as none of us really knew each other- Evonne (youngest and joker of the team), Jeremy (has a freaking fit mom), Jeslyn, Kayne (taught at AISS), Mark (i still cant believe you are a medic but is terrifically efficient) and Suichen (looks so good for her age) would come to be a group of people who i may not be able to reach the summit without.

My first thought to myself was "What?! nobody had climbing experiences??" and "Will the guys be able to pull me up the mountain, if i cant make it?", but of course, what I did not know then was the mental strength of everyone as well as the commitment we would put into our trainings to ensure that we reach the summit.

The trainings we undertook during the 2 months prior to our trip was a collection of climbs at Singapore's tallest peak (dripping with sarcasm) and HDB stairs master regime. Some of us also went ahead with jogs and swims to add variety and compliment our monotonous and routine climbs. 5 crazy enthusiastic people even manage to pull off an overnight walk around Singapore (21Km) - they are Evonne, Jeslyn, Kayne, Mark, and myself.

In no time at all (really, because during the 2 months, I was undergoing some major upheavals at work as well as my recovering from poor health), the time for training has passed, we went to the new relocated Adventure Quest (Clark Quay) for our final briefing and got to know of the last minute addition to our team - Ivan (the question mark that turned out to be a great help).

When the plane touched down, we learned that we may be facing some tail wind of the recent typhoon that affected Philippines and all of us are praying that the major bad weather would pass over that first night (when we are safely sheltered in the hotel). The first night was difficult for me for a couple of reason - terrible noise pollution and maybe (just maybe) me being too excited. I clocked 3 hours of sleep - at best.

2nd Oct morning, we woke up bright and early (6.30) for the 2 hour drive to the starting point of our climb. The drive was peaceful and the view was a serene if unrealistic prelude to our climb. The chill sat in once we alighted the mini van at the base. We were introduced to our friendly and helpful porters cum tour guides (Johan and Jinus) who proceeded to carry our extra luggage (16Kg at RM$10/ Kg) for the whole trip- to and back.

The hike up was tiring but manageable, the terrain made up of steps as well as messy placements of rocks pretending to be steps. While I didnt get to see the Rafflesia, I did saw the Pitcher plant and some kinds of orchid look alike flower. The most difficult part would be my sudden coughing fit as well as the last flight of stairs up Pendant Hut. (note to self, do not get a house that has many steps (5 is max) leading up to the entrance)

Dinner was good after some kind people gave up their seats for us (it was packed). We tucked in to the stewed lamb, noodles, rice and i esp. like the banana cake. We headed back to our bunks early as we were told that we will need all the rest we can get for the next part of the climb. Kudos to the sleeping bag man, it was the warmest sleeping bag I had the pleasure of using hahaha.. which is really saying a lot because throughout the bitter cold, howling night, the sleeping bag kept me and my toes toasty warm! (10degC indoors).

At 2am, we got up, or at least most the them got up, I didnt sleep much (again clocking only 2-3 hours). We had a simple breakfast of toast before we brave the darkness of pre-dawn. The initial challenge was the darkness, our paths are solely lited by the headlights on each of us. Then the cold seeped in as we made a slow journey up the steps and onto the steep granite terrain. I believe that everyone of us was fighting physically as well as mentally throughout the climb. We had to grip onto railings when available, and take the steps and rocks at a tortoise's pace, grab on to secured ropes on the slopes and pull ourselves up most of the way. It is made harder knowing that a fall would cause you your life (or injure you badly) and it is so dark, you barely make out the steps 3-5 meters ahead.

At Sayat Sayat Checkpoint, we had to make a decision - to give up on the summit or to give up on Via Ferreta. I thought- "how about both?" but I wasnt able to voice it out because I really wanted to complete what I have set out to do - Reach the Summit. Of cos, conquering Mt. Kinabula is the grander accomplishment and that was what we decided. We persevered (and I have say, perseverance never seem so hard) despite our slow speed. The sky turned bright when we were only half way (estimate) to the peak. All we saw of the rising sun was the slight ribbon of orange before the mist wrapped it up from our sight. This stretch is made up of entirely steep, endless granite. So many times, I had to stop and ask the team to slow down, so many times, I tell myself "I cant do it anymore", "I am not going to make it" but the team kept me going with their encouragement and by their willingness to fight with me against the cold and wind.


 (to be continued)

starting on another chapter...

too much and yet not sure where and how to start regarding my resignation at 3M.
i guess i will have to pen down my thoughts soon but now, i think i need to let it sink in.

anyways... here is a lovely song which i would love to be played at my funneral. go check out the lyrics too.

Love thief

Fell in love with a pirate, and he was robbing my family of some family heirloom that I dint even know of.

In my dream he was charming and too quickly gain my trust and love.

I wonder why I would dream of this and wake to a loss quite profound, esp. of something I didn't even really own in life.

Maybe sandman thought some alternative reality is required. Afterall, I have not been reading. It must be some strong dream powder because I took some strong medication before I sleep and felt quite giddy as I lay on my bed.

Dreams.

I am just sick

Sick of every farking thing.
And it is sad sad sad indeed bec how can lose sight of how wonderful life is..

Maybe I am too cynical to enjoy life's gifts. Maybe I am too fearful of the future. Maybe I am just a fool who keeps myself unhappy.

Whatever it. Life is good. It is just me not being appreciative.

Dear god, cure me of my sickness!!!

Fanciful thoughts

There is a raging battle going on without anyone the wiser- that of good versus evil. It takes place everywhere. In the underground mazes, the cloudy mountain peaks, the skyscrapers glass prisons, the rain-forests hollow trunks, the cave-valleys of the ocean and most of all in depths of the hearts of man.

Like the mystical battle between the unicorn and the lion, this goes on for as long as Time itself can remember. From the birth of the first man to the the baby delivered at this very moment. Each has sign up for the war. And as in all wars, legions will switch, lifes taken or loss, some will rise to be great leaders, some will enjoy the spoils of war and some will pave the fields with their broken bodies and feed the vultures with their souls.

Sent from my iPhone

rare nice photo of me with the lovely jes

I look so pretty here!!! ( Jes looks great as usual of cos)

A rough week

It is a rough week and not just physically.
27th was the 4th time i went to Bt. Timah for training.
28th was Tian's Hens Night... I think she had fun and was happy with our first attempt at planning a Hen's night.
29th night, we had night trekking (11pm to 6am) until my soles hurt with every step man. We started at Khatib and ended at Lido Macs. At 1 point, my legs (entire) feel so itchy, I want to scrub it till it bled.
I got up today for Tian's Wedding Briefing and was late... super tired man...
Dinner was takeaway from Northpoint and i bought some books from POPULAR for more escapism trips until my real holiday (when?????)

Happy Hen's Night Tian! All the best to you and Edward!

The sweet taste of home cooked food

I packed homecooked food into the cinema on friday for the Zookeeper. And while the technical quality of the food is average at best, i have to say that i felt really good eating it.

I think firstly because it is such a rare chance (maybe once 2 weeks) that i get to eat something home cooked. And secondly, because home cooked food make me feel more healthy (like it is more wholesome). And weirdly, it makes me feel more bonded to my family somehow.

Since i worked in China, my meals have more often than not been delivered to me or was taken out. I began to miss cooked food. So i started cooking soup and noodles with fishcakes, hotdogs, vegs etc. it is really good to make food for yourself or even others.

When i came back to Singapore, again there wasnt a lot of home cooked meals because all of us (family) come back at different times and sometime already had our meals out, so it was a terrible waste (according to my dad) to cook food, reheat them and throw away whats left over. Thus, my dinners are often packed food from coffee shops or meals with friends/ family outside.

I missed home cooked food and i am always envious of others who are fortunate enough to have them frequently. Sadly, i think more and more people are not having home cooked food
nowadays.

10x 12 storeys

My official first stairs training.
Tried out my thick socks and shoes, so much better than regular socks.
Tried out my hydro bag, but not used to drinking from it.
Anyways, super stinky now. Just happy to complete my goal of 10 sets. I started at 8.26pm and ended around 9.10pm. The worst parts are 8-9 floor. And of cos when my dad saw me in soak in my own perspiration and decide to drench me in cold water. Gosh why are my parents so like that?!? Can't they just encourage me on my dreams?!?!?

Luckily I got good friends. :)

Kk gtg shower!!!!

Cousins day out + family bonding

Yesterday was a fun & fully packed, physically intensive Saturday.
A bunch of us went to JB for Paintball, the good thing was that it was indoors so there is no sun but it doesnt mean that it wasnt hot!

Anyway, the difference with paintball is that it HURTS like shit! i kenna one on my knuckles and the skin there tore a bit. It felt so bad i gave myself a break and went to wash the paint off my hands. The next time i look at my hands again, there was some bleeding... it was unpleasant...

Also, as we have to protect our face (the most important part, but guys may argue otherwise) the head gear can get fogged up which cause blurriness and poorer aim... i almost shot my bro's head (and he was on my team, but once i realise my vision was so bad, i got it cleared).

Oh ya, paintball makes me feel guilty afterwards unlike laserquest/tag... i feel so bad when i saw all the bruises my bros and cousins suffered.... even though.. im not sure if i gave it to them... lol

While both 'gun's are heavy (laserquest/tag vs paintball) i think my arms are more tired this time. mainly because today's horse riding lesson strain it even more.. sheesh... i am nv going to jump up the horse seriously, just let me be supported up please???

Anyway whilst my body is tired, my heart is full! i am really glad to spent sat with my cousins doing such exciting activities and with my bros too. Mom joined in, which was really sporting of her (not the paintball, just the trip). i guess, im just glad to spent time with most of the family..

And talking about that, Dad developed an interest in Sudoku, which is why the whole family ends up cracking our heads every night... he bought a puzzle book from POPULAR and wants to sell us the puzzle for 10-20cents each. Siao lah! my bro and I tells him that we will sell the completed puzzle back to him if he insists haha.

Heading to bed with tired arms

JB tomorrow

With so many thoughts in my head, I really wonder if should go to JB tmr. The reel life making me think, my real life making me think. My body aching from swims, climbs, stairs and work. Haiz.

Dear god, pls give me an answer, a sign?

So now what...

I used to be quite obtuse about the economy but now I am worried about it. I keep assuring myself that no matter what as long as you are willing to work hard and learn new skills, everything will be fine. Also, the end goal is really more than just how fast you get promoted etc.

Whatever, I just think that I must keep myself positive, be optimistic about life and believe that I can take some control of it. Everything else is in the hands of a superior being.

Enjoy life as much as you can people, we only have 1 life.

Sent from my iPhone

Moon struck

For a moment there, I was utterly strucked by how the moon looks. To be so beautiful yet so lonely in the night sky. August has sneaked up to us. Soon we will be saying goodbye to so many and 2011. Soon, I will pass my prime or did I pass it already? But somethings never change... My love for you, my love for the moon.

Sent from my iPhone

This week in July

I swam, twice. :)
I had really good food- Tan Yu Tou steamboat, Jacks place grill, and at grandma place where we had chili and pepper crabs, famous bishan chicken rice, roasted pork, the best potato/ carrot soup and lots of bitter sweet durian.
I paid for my mt. Kinabalu trip plus insurance... ( if anyone climbed before, pls share your experience and tips with me k!?
We booked our home's LED tv after going to all the places to check out.
I heard good as well as bad news of all sorts (people getting married, people breaking up, people dying, the Norway mass murder, bad heath issues etc). Life is short and unpredictable, as long as you think you have achieve most of the things that are most important to you. You have done well my friends. Keep up your heath so that you can complete the rest of your goals later on.

Sent from my iPad

Horse riding lesson is cancelled for the week so instead..

Today, i went TV hunting with mom and brother.
Tiring man! 1st to Expo, then to Courts, lastly we ended up at AMK ave 4.
And still no TV to show for it.

For health and happiness

If you can only choose one- good health or happiness, which would you choose?

Sent from my iPhone

Randomness on Saturday

A relaxed Saturday.
Red painted nails.
Music that lift the soul.
Green tea when I'm thirsty.
Meeting cousin in town.
Sometimes, just like this will be simply wonderful.

Sent from my iPhone

dont give up on love

no matter what status you are at now- single, married, dating, divorce, dont ever settle for less than love.
Dont give in to peer pressure, because you wont be happy and if wont be happy, that will just make life miserable for you and whoever you are connected to.

i am not saying that im advocating singlehood, but that you should pursuit happiness in all forms and formats.
im settling for happiness even if it takes a little more time, are you? did you?

wherever you are out there... are you looking for me?

Bittersweet drean

I dreamt of love and loss... So poignant. Wake up feeling like I lost something dear to me.

Horse Riding Is no Joke

Horse bucked while i was on top.
The most important thing was that i did not fall, though not for the horse's lack of trying.

Please call me :)

Come on, come on, please call me (winks)

4.30 to 6.30

I was tossing in bed, feeling feverish, perspiring lot and yet chilled. Stomach cramping terribly and for no reason. Yet at 7am, I am feeling ok except for the lack of sleep... Man it's crazy. Wat is wrong with me? Should I go for a check up? Scans?

No matter how i try...Nightmares

I try not to think too much but even in my sleep, it haunts me and leave me feeling depress and helpless. I hate them these monster called Fear, Insecurity and Loneliness.

Calls in the middle of the night

My brother is recuperating at home after his op. And as he couldn't speak, he is unable to call out his pain or for us to help. So, to get our attention, he would call home from his mobile which goes everywhere with him and now rests on his bed.
Just got a called for painkillers, naseus spray and water. He told me and my mom (the only ones who heard the home phone ring). When I brought him the medi, his face was pale and he seems in extreme pain.

Gosh, I just want him to be back to his old self! Healthy, annoying me as usual, not this helpless person that make me feel so worried and concerned.

Things to do before 30 (2007)

Some people wondered how come I took up horse riding. And I explained it's because I wanted to complete my things to do before 30 list... Lol. Don't believe? This was 2007's entry that I managed to pull up.


Repost: Things I want to do before 30.
(this was a blog entry posted on July 2007. I was 22)

1. Learn to ride a horse (best if i can reach gallop stage)
- at trotting stage now
2. Learn to dive & Dive in overseas waters ( malaysia is fine)
- not yet. Maybe after horse riding lessons
3. Tour USA
- not yet... :(
4. Tour EU again ( Venice, France, Italy, Czech R., Scotland, England, etc)
- haiz...
5. Tour Japan
- this needs to be KIVed
6. Visit Cousin in Christchurch, N.Z. (before 25?)
- yup! When I was 25!
7. Learn another language (Spanish?)
- yup. Did it in SMU
8. Add 30 good books to my collection
- Hm... I dint count
9. Be surrounded with the same great pals i have and more
- yesh!
10. Settle down???
- erm... kIV?
11. Tour Ireland
- not yet...

So much pain

I hope he recovers soon.
At least there are no more tubes and he is home.
But to have to ask for painkillers half way through his rest must be v terrible.
And to not be able to move your jaws must be unnatural and uncomfortable to say the least.
Please lessen his pain.

Be well!

Don't have time to visit bro. But heard from mom that maybe it was better that I dint go. She say he was heavily sedated with tubes everywhere and can't talk or move mouth. I hope the op was successful and he will recover soon and be in top form soon.

To my dearest and closest friends, may you guys always be in good health and not have to undergo unnecessary operations.

My bro's operation

I'm requesting for the safe and successful operation of my brother. Pls keep him safe throughout the op! Amen!

- Posted on my trusty ifone :)

Quotes on Finding & Being Yourself

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. ~e.e. cummings, 1955


All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory. I was naïve. I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer. It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with: that I am nobody but myself. ~Ralph Ellison, "Battle Royal"


He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away. ~Raymond Hull

Wherever you go, go with all your heart. ~Confucius

i was dued a major breakdown and it happen yesterday night

i was dued a major breakdown and it happened yesterday night.
Maybe we need to break into pieces before we can rebuild ourselves...
Thanks Jes for being there for me.

Terrible stomach

Gosh. Stomach rumbling like how the thunder is rumbling outside. I'm not hungry yet my stomach keeps making these noises. And I am so freaking uncomfortable even sleep is not helping.

Scar - a poem

Like a scar on tar,
The clouds a-jarred,
Paving a highway
While the moon fades away.

So fast,
I walk past
And poof,
An empty roof.

my wound
Gone like the moon
But tomorrow makes
My scar awakes.

By me.

Praying for health

Stomach feels weird. I applied the oil (ester) on my belly but it still feels uncomfortable. Haiz, is it possible to pray and get good heath? I can't concentrate if my stomach keeps making me unease. Just wan to curl up in bed and have a hot pillow on my stomach.

Bryann Wedding (Click on photo to go to website)

Lovely wedding, Amazing Couple! :) Im so happy for the both of you!

Break Even by The Script

... Cos i got time while she got freedom...
What am i supposed to do when the best part of me is always you...
When a heart breaks, it dont break even

The sky above me- A Haiku

In crowded spaces

Where stars jostle for presence

The moon hangs by itself


- by me.

Ann's wedding weekend

The weekend was so busy and it flew by so fast...

Friday had dinner out and wasnt in the best of moods. Made a blooper and missed a movie date with my best pal... felt so terrible. But I made a trip to meet her for supper make up for it. :)

Saturday morning i went to see my doctor to take a blood test and while the doctor said i still look pale, my body seems ok and i just need to monitor and take pills when needed.

Then I met my Jes in town for Hangover 2 and it was LOL and crazy. We had Lunch at TCC which BTW is having a 1 for 1 main course/ pasta!!!

Then i head to Pasir Ris for my horse riding lesson, we did trotting with out instructors holding on man!!! it was so cool and damn tiring... i almost slipped off the horse (i mean pony) which was really scary. Do you know the pony weighs 400kg? And looks like a freaking horse?

My cousin and I ended up at SAF chalet at Changi as we went to celebrate her friend's kids birthday. 2 little precious girls. End up being back kind of late. Changi Village holds some very special memories for me....

Sunday I was up at 5.30am. Head to Ann's house at CCK for sister duties. :) It was a damp morning and a wet afternoon but it was a lovely wedding. While traveling we got lost and ended up going to Woodlands Checkpoint and had to make a U-turn at the customs...... lol. Seriously! luckily the bride and groom arent in our car. The wedding dinner was a sweet affair, lots of love and laughter. I met Joanne again, the last time must be years back... lol and yes, I hope the next time wont be at either mine or her wedding cos that will be way too long. It was really nice spending time with Joanne and Ron :) and meeting the other sisters - Charlotte and Melissa. 

My Anngel, I am so happy for you! The family seems nice and Bryan looks like he will really shower you with love and care. And I know you love him very much :) Truely, I think you guys really inspire me with your love... I hope the best for both of you!!! Dun be strangers when you guys head back to Adelaide ok? And Ann, from what I have seen of Bryan, he seems like a nice guys, down to earth, intelligent and caring, plus he has a good loving family, so I am really glad you guys are going to be together! I will try arrange a holiday in Aussie to meet u guys and for a promised day at Gold Coast! So, that i can check up on hows he is treating you and also get a free tour guide... :)

Music keeps me alive

Laser quest is freaking fun!

My first time playing laser quest, like paint ball but minus the pain. It takes place indoors, in a dimly lit maze. Players don a 4++ kg laser sensor so that if they got hit, they will be informed by the sound and vibration alarm and the weapon will be deactivated for a couple of seconds. It rox man!

Then, at the bowling alley, I cant even hit 50 in 1 round bec I normally sux at bowling and that my arms are too tired from the 3 rounds of laser quest. Lol.

Dinner at Chong Ching hotpot was so-so as I was way too hungry to enjoy the food. But it was a first for me again, haha.

We ended the day at tawangdang. No alcohol for me as I am still taking my flu-cough-sore throat medicine.

Sometimes, things like this make me feel almost human... Just chillaxing and having fun. So this is the 1st team bonding activity for 2011... I must say that I did honestly enjoyed it very much. It was a great idea So i must thank whoever came up with this idea! :)

Lost heart

The political scene is playing prime time drama with the recent very public announcement of the changes in the cabinet. I do not know what to make of it as of now. Motives are questioned- have the people finally been heard, how much was due to guilt and wanting to make amendments, how much was to appease the people and win back trust and loyalty?

Other questions that surfaced for me are, the effectiveness of pawns replacing pawns, what will be the real real changes? Are we just paying different people to do the same thing? What also confuses me is this, votes are counted, territories won and loss. Why have the people who won some of this places now given up on the people? I mean, we trusted you to serve for 5 years.. We took the fact that you will be capable of listening to our needs and implementing solutions for the betterment of our lives. Thats why you have won, that's why we have given you our votes!(or was it fear?)

I am disappointed that lesser opposition than I expected won. I am angry that people who won suddenly decide to give up on those who voted them in. I mean if you can't serve 5 years maybe it would be good to know that before we voted right?

Maybe some people worry for the health and capability of mr chiam and thus, he didn't win ( I say maybe). Now if we know the other party will also quit on us in a months time or something, maybe votes will be swayed and outcomes different right? Who will you stand for? The man who despite his poor health sincerely wants to serve for as long as he can? Or the man that promises to serve for another 5 years but quits once he won?

I thought my MM love my country so much he would serve for as long as he could (maybe as a volunteer you know? After all, I think he can afford the lesser pay) I thought that maybe my government would hear the people and take action and maybe give the ministers a chance to right the wrongs the committed while having a pay cut. But I thought wrong, they just find replacements. Yes maybe removing some of the people that the public has turn against help but it is after all the policies that are in placed that people really have difficulty accepting. Now, why are the policies so and who or what caused it?

Gone fishing

No one is here. Back on 17th May.

Peace, out!

My Final Say (Just my own opinion on this GE)

Tomorrow is the Cooling Day and every voter will be making or re-evaluating their decision to support the incumbent. My mind is already made up and honestly, I have evaluated and re-evaluated my decision throughout these 2 weeks. I am  just fickle like that. But I am very glad that my right to vote is not taken away from me. But I shouldnt be, glad i mean, because my right to vote should be constitutional, inherent to me being a Singaporean. But that is not the reason why I am writing this.

I love my country and I acknowledge the achievements of my government. We (our country) have come so far because we have good people in the government. And of course, we also have ourselves, or at least our parents, grandparents, great grands to thank for. To have a good government but no people is like having an intelligent brain but no limbs, no body, nothing gets done. So, I think, if we have not been giving credit to ourselves (our ancestors) than we should, and not be hoodwinked into believing that what we have achieved is due solely to our capable government and that we will all perish if the incumbent gets kicked out.

This election brought up quite a few unpleasant and unflattering things about my government that I am sorry to say- quite damaging to their reputation and credibility in my heart. People make mistakes, no one is flawless, no one is perfect unless he be deity. So while i will not be the first to cast stones (anyway, if you frequent FB, you will realised that I am not the 1st, not the 2nd, not the 3rd, not the 100th etc.) I would like to ask, why only own up now? If for some reason, you dont believe that you made a mistake, then good for you, stay your ground. If you think you made a mistake, admit sincerely and hope for forgiveness, but dont do it now... it will only come across as being pretentious and flaky and worst still- scheming. My PM, you deserve my respect for apologising in public but now is really most inappropriate. And your team, if you are sincerely about owning up to your mistakes, and really seek forgiveness, why, oh why did you embark on a personal vendetta against another party that has a differing opinion?

I think, we need more transparency and I say this because i realised that whatever I know, is because you have told me so, and whatever I do not know, is because you didnt tell me about them. I am fed what you think I should know but I would rather have a buffet and choose what I want to know from everything that you should have laid on the table.

While our education system may be found wanting when compared to better systems out there (on earth or in space), I believe we are educated enough to be given more freedom to exercise our own judgement and media should facilitate and enable us, not restrict us. It is really really disgusting to me, to see how bias our media is.

Let me briefly touch on the issue of money. It is simple, I will never have enough, but what you are getting seems like way too much even to me. Money is a mean to an end, and the ends are houses, cars, family, children, children education fund, medical fund, retirement fund, vacation fund and ultimately some kind of happiness. You are paid so much, and I just want you to convince me that you deserve that kind of pay. I dont want to compare, I just want to ensure that I feel satisfied that my pay is so different from yours because you do so much more than me. Even if you ace your KPI of GDP growth, have you collected enough "well dones" and "good jobs" and solve and resolve the problems of your people?

I think the root of the matter is clear, I am less contented about my life which is and should be a red mark in your performance. And I guess there are some people like me out there. And then, there are others, who see people like me around them and feel injusticed and they have a strong voice and the courage to stand up and bring up my unhappiness. I salute them because they are the underdogs, they have to fight harder, they have to overcome inertia, and still face unfair biasness from the media.

My government, I wish you would wake up from your idea (grins) and smell the rubbish stench in the air because something is roting (or maybe there are too many skunks in your party). I am thankful for all the good you have done but you have to realise some mistakes have negatively (and to some others, greatly-negatively) impacted my life and others and you just brushed them off aside until today when you needed our votes.

This isnt a Boy-Girl Relationship, this is not a Mother-Child Relationship (Oh ya, Happy Mothers' Day to all Mommys!), it is a rational, objective and logical relationship between the leaders who have power entrusted to them by the people to look after the best interest of the people, and the people. And in all these rallies and speeches and interviews, you have not convinced me that you have our best interests at heart in your words as well as action. So, that's that, my Final Say.


Things about my government that I am uncomfortable about:
1. Lack of transparency
2. Fighting Dirty (Threats, Bribes, Lies, Well placed Sorries, Scare mongering...)
3. The undeserved (large) part of their salary
4. Not providing enough in transport/facilities/ housing with the influx of FT
5. Allowing cost of living to overshoot wages
6. Allowing some less deserving to contaminate the talent pool of our government
7. Not admitting to their mistakes until it is too late
8. Poor-management of peoples' hard earn money
9. Keeping peoples' hard earn money from them
10. Not listening

Inspiring Speeches - Vincent W. SDP

I am going to BangKok in May!

The tickets and hotel stay are booked!
Flying off on 13th Friday.... coming back on 17th Tuesday.

If you have any recommendation on Spa/Massages, Place to eat & Shop.. Please let me know!!!! Put them in the comments section k!!!!

I am so excited because I have heard so many great BangKok holidays but I have never really been there since i was a kid!!!!

:)

Mommy! I am watching Youtube

This last week, Youtube has really gone beyond just being a place where i get my doses of MTV and entertainment gossip fixes.

In the past, I mostly go on youtube for new songs & videos from my favourite artists, bands & Glee! I look out for the lastest tidbit on celebraties and search for movie trailers.
But the last week, I watch SG election news and speeches on Youtube. I search for videos of the Royal Wedding and I even hear from the US President himself on the termination of Osama Bin Laden. All on Youtube...

Youtube is still going to be a place where i get entertained but it is now more than just that!

Horse Riding Lesson 1 - Gear Up!

Thor - Max Drools Factor

Elaine's Bday Actsmen Gathering! Full Attendance!

I need to travel!!!

Somebody, anybody?!?!?
Should I seriously consider Hokkaido?!?? Heard it is cheap.

- Posted on my trusty ifone :)

Dinner table topic

Over the prawn omelette and pork on hotplate, 4/5 of our family discuss the very rudiment of politics- voting. It is the first time for me and my brothers (if there is a contest in my area)... the youngest of whom just turned 22. He doesn't know the hows of voting nor the whys of it... in fact, he really don't care.

Apathy- the sickness of the 21st century.

Pink - Raise your glass

& GLEE does a good rendition of it too! But i think this video is so much more impactful...

GLEE - Somewhere only we know

So touching.... Kurt is leaving the Warblers, and Blaine

Being a speck

Sometimes I feel so afraid, have the craziest idea that the ground will fall from my feet and the sky will fall on me. Those times I remember that I am only a speck in the universe and many things have bigger purpose that me, so many more important. And I feel comforted in that offhand, by the way manner.
It is good to know that there are bigger things out there, and my rights and wrongs aren't so important in the world.

- Posted on my trusty ifone :)

Movie: Love & the pursuit of other impossible things

Caught it at Cathay... So long since i been there man!
So it was quite a treat to show at PS and Cathay...

The show packs a punch with its touching storyline.
Dont watch it if you had mascara on... it will make you cry...

happiness - in my opinion

what is happiness but a song, which lifts your heart and feet to dance?
what is happiness but a choice, to remember life's gifts and not it losses?

happiness is not a destination, it is not a goal. it is that span of time when you realised that you are contented in the moment.

it lasts as long as the song, or the playlist.
it lasts as long as you choose it to.

More GLEE!

Get it right


Hey Soul Sister


Bills Bills Bills

Bruno Mars

- So Addictive


- Cool Vid

What is at the end of time?

I have this question stuck in my head:
What is at the end of time?
(And i do not mean the biblical End of Time)

Additions in my sky- Poem

Additions in my sky- Poem

The new stars in my sky,
Like a tropical welcome drink,
Sometimes yellow, sometimes pink.

Laboriously stringed
Lifted by hand and wind
The lights on wire and wings.

Bonded to weather

It is so easy to project ur feelings to the weather, esp when you are upset and the sky is crying.

The Lion King

The Lion King is a visually fulfilling musically. The set is vivid and a play of colors you find in the sky and in the safari land. I especially love the giraffe and pumba's costume and Scar's headpiece ( mastery!). Also beautiful is the herd of antelope/ gazelle pushcart thingy.

The best singers goes to the baboon and adult simba. :) my favorite scenes (I know it should be only one but there are too many) are: the opening- circle of life, the part musafa told about the kings of the past (stars) and the act after the interval.

Great acting from the bird- wats it's name, Scar, and Timone.

Great show for the family ( kids above 5 would appreciate it).

- Posted on my trusty ifone :)

CK watch!

I'm so in love with a new CK watch that is only going to be launch in June!!!

The wait is killing me! Lol.


- Posted on my trusty ifone :)

Because I want to follow my dreams

Drank too much on Friday with my colleagues and end up not participating much bec I was too sleepy- a lousy by product of too much alcohol. I dint get high, not even a bit. Just head straight to snooze-ville.

Saturday, me n my cousin when to check out Gallop Stables at Pasir Ris. We signed up for a 5 lesson horse riding course. :) I am really excited! Because it means I'm fulfilling my dreams step by step. The list of things I want to do before I die is being achieve steadily.

But my mom has to dampen my spirit. Haiz. Why is it that she doesn't see my side of things and does not see how important these hobbies and activities are to me? Why not encourage me and be happy for me because I'm happy? Why are they only happy if I do what they want and when they want it!?

Just to be supportive when I chase my dreams eagerly. Is that too much to ask from you- my dearest and closest?

- Posted on my trusty ifone :)

Need hugs

If only pillows, bolsters, Teddy bears hug back...


- Posted on my trusty ifone :)

its a natural disaster, not karma.

I have heard people saying that this is all karma... But lets be clear about 1 thing, these people who are harmed by the earthquake, tsunami & nuclear meltdown are not their ancestors. the people who cause the massacre of WW2 have long gone. These people who are suffering now, they are just unlucky. And we need to help them... i know it isnt much, just providing a little monetary fund but still, i hope i can give some help. You may be able to contribute more, but any/even a small amount will help.

Japan have given me some things i really cant live without: Naruto & all the other comics i read, Sashimi-Sushi-Udon, lovely stationery & organizers, electronics (like cameras!)... and god knows what...

See what you can do to help here: http://www.redcross.org.sg/Japan-Disaster-2011.phtml

Some Music Therapy?

Back to December - by Taylor Swift

If there was an earthquake

If there was an earthquake, followed by a tsunami, followed by a nuclear meltdown and then all hell broke loose if it didn't already did, in my country.
And if, I lose my home, my job, my love ones (family, friends) even acquaintances.
Will I be able to look forward to a life which goals are now shifted even further from me? Will I be able to pick up the pieces of my past so that I can rebuild to where I was previously? Will I be able to move on without my loves, and make new ones and believe that l can rise again?
How can I trust that my life's work and achievements, my relationships won't be swiped off so easily again? How can I start over again, from sub-0?
How can I find the will to live when i have nothing when I once did?

I don't know... But I know it won't be without help. I am sad and horrified for the Japanese who have to go thr this. Why must these calamities happen? To remind us not to take our lives, livelihoods and relationships for granted?

If you die today, how will you spent the last minute and who will it be with? If you didn't but suffered so much loss, how would you live?
Can you answer both questions satisfactorily?

- Posted on my trusty ifone :)

Good sleep today

Feel satisfied with the beer. :) I was hoping for some just a few days back.


- Posted on my trusty ifone :)

iPad2 - its coming!!!!!

Drools...


So cool, you need to get more than 1!

The King's Speech

Absolutely lovely! You have to watch it! It deserves the oscars that it won!

Going walking

Because I need to sort out some things..


- Posted on my trusty ifone :)

Worrywort

Times like these... I worry over my mommy... Pray she knows what she is doing.

- Posted on my trusty ifone :)

i so want to travel

Mom is going Bangkok between 16-19 March and i really want to go too except she is going to pray.... but i want to go shopping & spa!!!  haiz... who else got bitten by the travel bug and is ready to travel in March?

February Gathering with Actsmen :)

The early birds... mich we didnt take with you!! alamak!

Heidi's new do & ivan's same old, same old :) lol

Mine... latte... its nice!

Nutella, Granny's Apple, Elvis... oops i forgot the name of Heidi's

Elaine's Summer

Birthday celebration at Wavehouse!

For all our efforts... here are the photos to prove it! We made it alive! :)

Lots of LOL and ouch moments... very difficult and challenging but all very sporting people!

And the food at Coastes is DELICIOUS!

Beautiful Christchurch.... torn apart by earthquake

This cathedral is no more. how sad it is that such a lovely building is now just rubble and dust. I am so lucky to have seen it in all its majesty... now doesnt that want you to travel to all the places you might never see again?

Be yourself!

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” Dr Seuss.

love songs for all ages!

Dedicated to all of us. may Love find us and shower us with more love then pain.

After Wavehouse

I was home, resting and not moving my neck unless i have to. Because it hurts too much!!! lol.. i seriously cant believe it can ache so FREAKING much...
But still, no regrets going to wavehouse to play...

ouch ouch!

Random

Your heart is breaking but you continue smiling... And I will smile with you.

- Posted on my trusty ifone :)

26th Birthday at Universal Studios Singapore

 

It was a fun-filled birthday! Celebrated with my Cousin Da"S" hahaha :)

Managed to took the Battlestar Galatica Cyclon & Human ride! both are great - the Cyclon one is more thrilling but the human one, with no upper body restrains are also quite fun and different for me. :)

Everyone should go once.... esp when there is NO queue!!!! :)

Lockers are free because we clear out of the lockers within 30mins each time! hee hee cool eh?

I NEED my Clinique Repairwear Lip Treatment!!!

Lost it weeks ago. Which explains why my lips are bleeding nowadays. Could also be because of heaty.





- Posted on my trusty ifone :)

blood on her lips

like the morning dew which sat on the leaf, seemingly weightless yet you cannot denied its weight, that was how the blood-drop looked on her lips.

LNY 2011 Day4 Sentosa

- Posted on my trusty ifone :)

LNY 2011 Day2

- Posted on my trusty ifone :)