The youngest came to me, with a woe-be-me story of how he placed a bet wrongly at the Sg Pools counter at our downstairs coffeeshop. Made me re-consider if i should stay up for the game.... but then again...im never crazy about it... and the last attempt was terrible for me. So, the world watches football tonight while i snuggle comfortably in my bed and have a pte date with Sandman.
Another wedding celebration took place at the void-deck of my block. I almost mistook it for a funeral yesterday... the bride & groom decided on a modern but unconventional black wedding theme. but today, all the music and singing puts the occasion in the right context.
Marriage- some see it as a prison, some see it as freedom. But technically speaking, it is just a contract, most commonly used to term the legal union of 2 people (man-woman/man-man/woman-woman, what ever floats your boat). Seriously, there are no Romanticism in it, but we do like to give it a dash of romance every time we think about it. Wedding - the social event to house this romantic-ised contract - mainly an excuse to party and boost the economy.
I am jaded, but this is not my senseless ranting. I just thought that marriages mean different things to different people... they are held in different weights too. If you find someone who holds it in the same wieght as you do, that will be fantastic! at least, you have a common understanding.
As i watch the malay wedding in full swing, i think the malays got it more right, weddings should be more celebrat-ive than just customs... we placed too much emphasis on customs (the tea ceremonies, the preparation of food/ accessories yada yada yada) which just make the bride and groom tired and even the dinner is kinda boring. yes, it is a serious thing... signing a bond always is... but if you are going to sign one voluntarily, do it with more cheer and good music, singing and fun. (disclaimer: im not saying malay weddings dont have their own customs, just that they seem to have lots of fun singing together in honor of the bride and groom too)
In my opinion, love is most impt and it doesnt have to consist of marriage. who said it should be? think about it, the first falling in love, the growing in affection, the deepening of understanding and respect, the unconditional sacrifices- those didnt start or end or have a turning point with marriage! marriage is only the rulebook/a yardstick if you would call it, of what is legal and what isnt. It doesnt keep the conversation going, it doesnt keep your heart pumping and it really doesnt fuel love! You fuel love, the actions you take, the communication, the respect, the understanding- mutually- fuel love, which in turn fuels both of you, and relationship.
I dont expect marriages to be abolished nor do i expect that people will stop getting married. marriage is afterall more than just a contract, it is also a social norm and indicator for the country, it is also critical for your future children. i am just saying.. it should not be taken to mean love. Anyone wants to recite the divorce rates around the world -in decreasing order? Romantic films, books throw Love and marriage together but in reality they really dont. love is un(not)reasonable, it is almost un-thinking, marriage is a bloody contract... you have to read the fine print!
So, get married! Go! just make sure, that you go in with your eyes and heart (of cos) open wide! Make sure, both you and your partner understand what marriage means to you both. and make effort to keep the love burning! Happy marriages to all!
*it was first introduced to me as "football" by my dad (following the Queen's english of cos)... but American-isation has made it "soccer" because simply..."football" is an another game-rugby to them.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.