To the moon today

So you are complete today. Full in all your majesty. You even put on the bronzer which you save for special occasions. I feel left out in the celebration maybe because I have much to weep about. Death came to collect a collegue's mother, She didn't knock when She entered. A strange wind stripped away my goodness and left my body with its essential evilness. The devil took an off day. So what if you put on your party shoes and turn the music on rock & roll?

What I hate abt 3

I think I hate the number 3. I think. It happens when i walk, I feel like the road is not paved for three adults. They say 2's company and 3's a crowd... And I agree. I normally walk behind you, you know? When there are 3 in the beginning.
We start out a little squeezy, a little awkward then U slowly realized that it becomes more comfortable and more spatial. U become more carefree. I can tell, because I am behind you, listening to the scraps when you need 1 more to sway the vote, when you need a can of laughter when you joke. I see your relaxed shoulders, large movements of your arms, and the personal space you drew so that there is never enough to add in 1 more.
Most of all, I notice, how you never look back. Never noticed I fall back, never noticed I was not there.
I know I should have fought to be 1 of the 2 but why butt in when I am not wanted. And if you never noticed. I seriously doubt you matter enough to me.

What Earth Hour?

In the morning, my block was chosen for 'water rationing' and so there will not be water from the pipe till 12. So I decide to spent as much time as I can in bed. Haha. No need water mah.
Anyway, the afternoon was spent lazying away. Was suppose to go out for an event but decided not to since i was late hahaha. Met my cus and went shopping AGAIN! Hahaha gosh. Bought shoes, clothes and skincare. Damn, I'm good! :)
So, 8pm came, then 8.30 and then it was 9-ish... Er the stores dint really off their lights la. I mean how can?! I'm still shopping leh hahaha. Bimbo-ish. Hahah. Well, I have to admit that it is a gd attempt but I wonder what is actually achieved. I mean more can be accomplished if we encourage everyone to sleep early right? Or sleep without aircon?!?? Haha. We can have a 'no aircon day' or erm even better a combi of 'sleep at 8pm day without aircon'. Hahahah. Man that will be tough! ESP for me, I mean the aircon part. So I guess, we have to be contented for now. With a romantic 8pm-9pm.

The man who loved a lot

The man who loved a lot,

loved painfully.

For he so loved, that

he challenged morality.

He went beyond reason,

and back, trounced logic

and then, wrote history.

Such man are never

accepted by society.

Only too lately remembered

as great leaders.

The man who loved a lot,

Loved for all.

- my tots -

we are never meant to fully understand or comprehend their ways... but their magnetism are sure to fire-up strong emotions/ opinions from us. however, maybe we shouldnt be so quick to cast stones. afterall, we are prone to err.

Plum sky

Beautiful night.



- Posted on my trusty ifone :)

the wind is calling

the wind is calling me to leave this wretched place where my soul is unrest, where my mind is troubled and the heart is lead.

my morning class of pilates didnt help to put my mind and body in balance... i had to rush back to sent my parents to the airport. then i drove to Orchard to meet my frens... and still i felt there is something missing... i sent them home and then sent myself back, thinking maybe my furniture and its layout will ease my restlessness a little. it didnt.

the wind is calling and i must leave., maybe it will be better like this.

smell the roses in bed

i woke up thinking

i dreamt the roses-

12 red stalks nested

in white baby-breaths

wrapped with greens

arranged in a star shape

went over with soft paper,

secured with cheap ribbon.

they look oddly out of place

house in my aluminium tin can.

i shifted, and felt my glasses

and the forgotten book.

they were still in bed.

i was still

d

r

e

a

m

i

n

g

.

Well loved.

I hear the spinning of the blades and feel a second later, the brush of cool silk on my skin. The room is immersed in the darkness of 11pm as I lay on my narrow bed. If you see me now, my teddys by the corner of my bed, the pink and white lace pj and the multiple pillows you will think I am a one girl harlem. But look closer and you will find the bible on my bed rest, the deeply loved condition of my bed belongings.

"Well loved" can be used to describe my possessions. "Well loved" can also describe me. I know today that I am loved beyond my expectations and My feeling is gigant-ium, so much of muchness that even I cannot fanthom it. It feels bubblish, a champagne kind of joy, light hearted and with a powerful kick. It feels like flying, liberating yet must be carefully controlled. It feels terrific, incredulous, so unfreaking-believable wonderful!

I think I finally understood, it is such a good feeling this- well love-ness that makes fairytales princesses so nice. I mean they are so well loved that they are contented and want to share the goodness n love to others.

Sometimes we think that no one sees us, no one hears us and no one loves us. But maybe we are just so well loved, but just that we don't know yet. I guess we have to be optimistic and to be always strive to be better people so that we will be deserving of undeserved love.

- Posted on my trusty ifone :)

You & Me- One Night Only

While i go about my deep thinking... and self discovery... i tot a few of you might enjoy this...

a little Jesus

i need a little Jesus... a little hope... a little faith... a whole lot of understanding. i feel like the whole job has fallen apart sometimes. it is such a wretched feeling... i feel incompetent i think... crap. cant believe how low i have sunk some times and it is times like these that make me look for a little Jesus.... a little Jesus in me... to search for a source of strength and to tap it.

the blackest hour calls out to light.

death & marriages

Yishun is surrounded by death n marriages. Just a couple of blks away I hear the unmistakable hits of ceremonial cymbols downing out the lively music of a Malay wedding. And 2 carparks away another set of funeral and wedding is taking place. I guess everyday such things happen, some good things happen to some and some bad things happen to others. There is never perfection maybe bec if it did occur, we will not try harder/ we will have nothing to look forward to. So, today may be a day to sleep away but it leads to a tomorrow more worth living than today. And maybe that is how life works.

Met up old friends the last few days and feel so full to the brim with all the care n love we share and had so much lol moments with them despite gloom news that 1 may be leaving sg. And another planned to do so later on. I rem so clearly how I wish when I was younger to not lose my friends. To keep as many as I can when I grow up and I guess I am v right that such can only happen with the help of higher power. While friendship is for eternalty, friends may not be. They form part of our lives but may not be there at the end to see us off. I guess everyone will play their part in the grand plan of things but I wish we all stay together from beginning to end. While I know it is naive of me to wish so, I will hold to any shred of hope that it can happen.

On the last note, I want say thank you for all the love u have showered me. All the patience with my nutty ways and most of all, all the time u have allocated to me. I mean, we all have other more pressing things to do, errands to run, money to make?but u have always managed to make (seriously), conoct time and space in ur hearts for me.

- Posted on my trusty ifone :)

Another taxi ride

So tired I think I should sleep in the taxi but i dun feel right. I am listening to the words of Paperweight-a song from Dear John. And it is so soothing like warm water washing down my body. I have a lot more work waiting for me tonight. I need to sleep before I get back. Haiz. Work, life, where's the balance?



- Posted on my trusty ifone :)

Terrible

My coke can is barely making a dent on the dark patch of grass I had it sitted on.

And on the metal bench, I perch uncomfortably at the far corner edge. One ear plugged in to Christina and the other ear I listen to a collegue making more demands and wonder what do I need to do to make it all stop. We all have different parts to play in life. Some times it our roles need us to do things that are more unpleasant...

And with my mind wondering like it is. My body went on demostration with its unhappiness with my dinner or maybe my mental state. I hate this feeling. It is so horrible being middle if nowhere, that I wish it was worse.

- Posted on my trusty ifone :)

Falling

I'm drifting into dreams and my eyes are tired from crying over Twenties Girl. I am feeling very comfortable and contented and so very sleepy. But I fear that all this will soon desert me... Too loved, too cherished, can there be too much of such things? I wish I know what and how to deal with this, this fear of having too much of a good thing...

- Posted on my trusty ifone :)

Zara damage

I am looking for Chanel 505 and a pair of nude 3 inches heels in 36.
I got the pink dress for Shihui's wedding and a cardi to match, a blue flowery blouse that I have always thought pretty.
Actual damage: $200
Possible damage: $300

Gosh! ... Hahaha




- Posted on my trusty ifone :)

just for the record... Dear John is better than Valentines Day

The best popiah in the world

Take a bite
Taste the love



- Posted on my trusty ifone :)

Appreciated

Plugged in and charged, I blast away circling the park. And from a corner exits a man with the finest back view I have came across in a long while. He has the body of a supermodel and the moves of an athlete. And has totally capture my attention. He made me grin wolfishly.

- Posted on my trusty ifone :)