on the back of my boarding pass

Airports are such nice places to inspire creativity...

"the sky darkens behind my back and i felt the weight of my lost. my eyes try to hold the tears at bay but i think it they are fighting a losing battle. this break has not been the best, esp. compared to Aussie (the most recent) and Taiwan (some years back). i wish i could push all the blame to my period, or to the terrible weather (it is scorching) or the fact that she had other things on her mind... but really, i should have better control over my emotions, expressions and outburst. i am so sorry if i have caused her to feel bad, guilty or incompetent. my mom, she is Wonder women in the flash i tell you, a mean Diana! nevertheless, counting my blessings (as i should), i included Disneyland HK, Starbucks, the safe environment surrounding me and ALL who made my trip possible."

written on the back of my boarding pass at HK airport.

Going HK with lots of insecurities

Flight to HK 17th Sept dep. at 10:10
Flight back to SG 20th Sept arrive at 23:55

Skye cant meet me in the end... which would mean that i will be traveling alone unless mom takes pity on me hahaha... she will be working on weekdays and having dinner functions at night... which would mean... tat i will have to go shop around on my own...

nothing concrete planned yet... dun think i will have a plan anyway... looking at the time now... sheesh... still packing bag... migod... haha

anyways... wishing myself a safe and fun trip!!! hahah cheers!

mish-mash tuesday

was supposed to take half day... but there is too much stuff to do... so no choice... stay the entire day thr... was supposed to leave on the dot... but still had work after 5-ish.

Too tired to blog seriously... so i will just try to jot down some thoughts that came to me...

1. In life... and in my life time, i will never truly own anything... really... not even my child... even my life.. is not mine... it could be taken away like tat (pretend to snap fingers).

2. When he opens the door for me... i feel that he cares....

3. no matter how it pains me to hear the truth... i am super thankful and glad, she still dishes it to me... thanks Jes :)

4. tmr... i need to do emails, present and just hang on...

Grace saves the world

Spent Saturday night at my 2nd Bible Study class at woodlands... reach home at 11 plus pm and started on my presentation slides for today's meeting. Simply said, today's meeting went alright... not as good as i hope though... haiz. anyway, that is over for now...

Sunday see me waking up early to go for my pilates class at woodlands again... had not a bad lesson but now i am so aching... rushed home after that and continued with the presentation slides... finished at 2am today.... sheesh.

Ok, so those are the mundane stuff... lets go into class proper eh?

Sat's class was on about Abram & Lot parting ways...Genesis Ch 13. and the lessons learnt are:

1. When we come to making decisions, it is good to consult God... what we can understand is really too little. You really dont know what is planned for yourself.
2. Righteousness is really about living by faith and trusting in God as oppose to being law-bidding.
3. Grace saved the world... (hee... i mean, His grace is what will save us all and it is really up to us to take up the offer rite? ... i wonder when i will take up that olive branch..)

the BENEFIT of the doubt

it is call "benefit of the doubt" for a reason... because it is out of goodwill that you explain away someone's bad behavior etc. it is a benefit to someone else... that comes from you. so that means... you are doing some good here rite? that you are being more forgiving and more understanding rite? and thus being a nicer person. so by giving a benefit of the doubt to someone else, you are actually elevating your own status.

Now, we do this often rite? I know i do, and i know this sound egoistic but i am not complimenting myself... i just do a lot of write offs... but even so, there are limits. the shutter comes in when i lose the disillusion about why i am being so nice, it comes down quickly when i realised that the bad behavior isnt the first time... and it comes down hard when i realised that i am no longer the only one suffering...

fool, i am, to be so gullible and trusting... my only excuse is that i honestly believe that men are inherently good and that because i am not all-knowing... i give most a large leeway to fall back on. but really... today is just too much for me to handle... (i had to call you guys, some of you didnt pick up... but some did and i am truly grateful)

i trusted you before i know you, that is my gift to you... but now that i know you, i am sorry to say... i can no longer trust you.