At the close of the day

At the close of the day, my world quiets down with only random va varooms to separate the silence, I switch on my iPod and drown myself in the words and melodies. And no matter how bad I feel I can slowly let loose of my own feelings and adsorb the feelings the composer/singer wants to convey.

If one day you faced something so bad you want to take your life, don't. Because life moves on with an alacrity one can't imagine, no matter how good or bad life is or has been. It keeps moving on.

Life is limited yet undeterminable. Time is forever on going. We are living in a dimension measured by time. It always seems that I have forever to live until I have none left. My very precious and exclusive life will one day be nothing. How long I live will always be relative and it will always diminish. So given a very long period of time, my life will mean nothing because it is such a small insignificant part of time.

So no matter what I do in my very important life, it will one day fade into nothing. Just like how my ashes will one day be nothing.

Homelessness

Have you ever been homeless? Fortunately mommy and daddy keep me in a shelter and lavish manor. But I don't know why in my dreams I can so clearly feel the feeling of homelessness when I have never experienced it.

The dream is so negative in so many ways that it gave a really bad aftertaste for the entire day. I really need to not think too much?

Lastly I just want to find peace...

My favorite things

Hug size teddy bears, ribbons everywhere. Flowers like lilies, tulips and sunflowers. Reading, reciting poetry, discussing philosophy, dreaming (good dreams pls).

doorways

i love to go thr arches, doorways, between pillars.. and everytime i do so... i hope and held my breath... that maybe i will be transported to somewhere magical.

i know it is foolish.. but.. some how i wish i am living another life.

Disturb and needy

Disturbed, in a disequilibrium i am seeking an anchor. Seeking shelter, a sanctuary, a personal Eden.

Where is my teddy bear? I need your understanding and tolerance, your generous hug and non-judgemental eyes.

Pancakes and hot coco did not calm my uneasiness. I think I need a bedtime chat with you tonight. And you to watch over me in my troubled sleep.