the wind is calling

the wind is calling me to leave this wretched place where my soul is unrest, where my mind is troubled and the heart is lead.

my morning class of pilates didnt help to put my mind and body in balance... i had to rush back to sent my parents to the airport. then i drove to Orchard to meet my frens... and still i felt there is something missing... i sent them home and then sent myself back, thinking maybe my furniture and its layout will ease my restlessness a little. it didnt.

the wind is calling and i must leave., maybe it will be better like this.

smell the roses in bed

i woke up thinking

i dreamt the roses-

12 red stalks nested

in white baby-breaths

wrapped with greens

arranged in a star shape

went over with soft paper,

secured with cheap ribbon.

they look oddly out of place

house in my aluminium tin can.

i shifted, and felt my glasses

and the forgotten book.

they were still in bed.

i was still

d

r

e

a

m

i

n

g

.

Well loved.

I hear the spinning of the blades and feel a second later, the brush of cool silk on my skin. The room is immersed in the darkness of 11pm as I lay on my narrow bed. If you see me now, my teddys by the corner of my bed, the pink and white lace pj and the multiple pillows you will think I am a one girl harlem. But look closer and you will find the bible on my bed rest, the deeply loved condition of my bed belongings.

"Well loved" can be used to describe my possessions. "Well loved" can also describe me. I know today that I am loved beyond my expectations and My feeling is gigant-ium, so much of muchness that even I cannot fanthom it. It feels bubblish, a champagne kind of joy, light hearted and with a powerful kick. It feels like flying, liberating yet must be carefully controlled. It feels terrific, incredulous, so unfreaking-believable wonderful!

I think I finally understood, it is such a good feeling this- well love-ness that makes fairytales princesses so nice. I mean they are so well loved that they are contented and want to share the goodness n love to others.

Sometimes we think that no one sees us, no one hears us and no one loves us. But maybe we are just so well loved, but just that we don't know yet. I guess we have to be optimistic and to be always strive to be better people so that we will be deserving of undeserved love.

- Posted on my trusty ifone :)

You & Me- One Night Only

While i go about my deep thinking... and self discovery... i tot a few of you might enjoy this...

a little Jesus

i need a little Jesus... a little hope... a little faith... a whole lot of understanding. i feel like the whole job has fallen apart sometimes. it is such a wretched feeling... i feel incompetent i think... crap. cant believe how low i have sunk some times and it is times like these that make me look for a little Jesus.... a little Jesus in me... to search for a source of strength and to tap it.

the blackest hour calls out to light.