a little Jesus

i need a little Jesus... a little hope... a little faith... a whole lot of understanding. i feel like the whole job has fallen apart sometimes. it is such a wretched feeling... i feel incompetent i think... crap. cant believe how low i have sunk some times and it is times like these that make me look for a little Jesus.... a little Jesus in me... to search for a source of strength and to tap it.

the blackest hour calls out to light.

death & marriages

Yishun is surrounded by death n marriages. Just a couple of blks away I hear the unmistakable hits of ceremonial cymbols downing out the lively music of a Malay wedding. And 2 carparks away another set of funeral and wedding is taking place. I guess everyday such things happen, some good things happen to some and some bad things happen to others. There is never perfection maybe bec if it did occur, we will not try harder/ we will have nothing to look forward to. So, today may be a day to sleep away but it leads to a tomorrow more worth living than today. And maybe that is how life works.

Met up old friends the last few days and feel so full to the brim with all the care n love we share and had so much lol moments with them despite gloom news that 1 may be leaving sg. And another planned to do so later on. I rem so clearly how I wish when I was younger to not lose my friends. To keep as many as I can when I grow up and I guess I am v right that such can only happen with the help of higher power. While friendship is for eternalty, friends may not be. They form part of our lives but may not be there at the end to see us off. I guess everyone will play their part in the grand plan of things but I wish we all stay together from beginning to end. While I know it is naive of me to wish so, I will hold to any shred of hope that it can happen.

On the last note, I want say thank you for all the love u have showered me. All the patience with my nutty ways and most of all, all the time u have allocated to me. I mean, we all have other more pressing things to do, errands to run, money to make?but u have always managed to make (seriously), conoct time and space in ur hearts for me.

- Posted on my trusty ifone :)

Another taxi ride

So tired I think I should sleep in the taxi but i dun feel right. I am listening to the words of Paperweight-a song from Dear John. And it is so soothing like warm water washing down my body. I have a lot more work waiting for me tonight. I need to sleep before I get back. Haiz. Work, life, where's the balance?



- Posted on my trusty ifone :)

Terrible

My coke can is barely making a dent on the dark patch of grass I had it sitted on.

And on the metal bench, I perch uncomfortably at the far corner edge. One ear plugged in to Christina and the other ear I listen to a collegue making more demands and wonder what do I need to do to make it all stop. We all have different parts to play in life. Some times it our roles need us to do things that are more unpleasant...

And with my mind wondering like it is. My body went on demostration with its unhappiness with my dinner or maybe my mental state. I hate this feeling. It is so horrible being middle if nowhere, that I wish it was worse.

- Posted on my trusty ifone :)

Falling

I'm drifting into dreams and my eyes are tired from crying over Twenties Girl. I am feeling very comfortable and contented and so very sleepy. But I fear that all this will soon desert me... Too loved, too cherished, can there be too much of such things? I wish I know what and how to deal with this, this fear of having too much of a good thing...

- Posted on my trusty ifone :)