Burning

Burn brightly, bec the time we have is short. Despite what people tell you, know this you have only 1 shot at it, whatever it may be for u.

It may be so draining to always be burning as bright as you can but is there any other way to burn?


- Posted on my trusty ifone :)

Going instead of coming home

Heading home in a taxi but not heading towards rest. This kind of lifestyle is so criminal man. When can I feel rested and at peace? Is this the lifestyle I want? For how long?


- Posted on my trusty ifone :)

things i want to SAY

I want to travel!!!!!

I want to be a loner/hermit!!!!

I want to not give a f*ck about everyone and everything! (kick imaginary stray can)

I want to change my lifestyle!!!! Do something seriously drastic!!!!

I want to let others know that i had enough of their bullsh*t.. yup yup so many, so many.

I am unhappy and I want to SHOW it!

I want to travel...

I want to be able to lose weight and not care if my doctor thinks that is a bad idea!!!!

I just want to hurt others and not hurt myself by doing so.

days like these

i wonder if my colleagues realised that i would rather not join them for KTV today... Not because i dont like their company but because i dont feel good... dun feel physically good... dun feel mentally good. haiz...

is this another case in which i am not persistent enough? not strong willed enough? too easily swayed? Why is it that 1 "no", 2 "no"s and still they are not impactful enough to bring my point across? Most of the time, i would love to be in their company... share (from the side) the high-ness generated by them... and let them fill my emptiness but today... i just wanted to curl up at home and maybe catch up with some work. Did i behave correctly by going along, being nice and not wanting to hurt their feelings? But did they feel that i rather not be there?

i feel bad that i have to oblige my colleagues because i love them like my frens and i rather not have to feel obliged. But sometimes... i am shocked by the things they say... like knife jabs into my body...

tired, uncontented and simply disturbed

i swear that i am up to no bad.

the change in me is obvious. when i look into the mirror i see the reddish glow caused by a pool crazy day at Sentosa. it was so so so cooling to be in the cold pool in the hot sun... i guess i got pool crazy and the sun burnt my skin a little too zesty-ly. my shoulders look as if the blood veins have all burst just beneath my skin's surface, they and all other part of my skin feel scalding hot to the touch... my cotton tee shirt shafts terribly even with my lathering my body with aloe-vera gel. what a way to start the new year huh?!

But that is not the only physical change in me... and nor the most important one... but i will leave it at that. the more radical/ outstanding changes i see in me are the intangible ones... it is hard to explain but i dont feel like the old grace anymore... and that is SAD. maybe i should change something. something close to me.. something around me.. to get back to what i used to be...

should i leave things to be as it is or should i make a change? this year 2010 (better state it else i will think it is 2009 again) will it be another year of great changes? what will change? will it make or break me? will i be a better person?



Dear God, i have changed and You know it. Santa didnt give me a present last year not because im naughty but because santa didnt come. maybe i should feel relief that the shades are finally lifted but i felt more like someone close to me died. dear God, is this your plan? for children to grow up- and irrevocably and surely lose their innocence? dear God, i always believe that as long as i have You, i do not need to be afraid, that as long as You are with me... i can win battles and wars. maybe it isnt as simple eh? grace and faith... grace and faith.. but what if the world deems that they are not enough? i want to do well in life... so tell me (please) is it grace and faith, or simply acts to succeed in life... .... i feel terrible that i have to ask... and i know it is rhetorical... because You state it clearly and i am not dumb... then why is it still so difficult?