taking iron pills because my blood pressure is slighter lower than what is healthy.. but it shouldnt be serious... i feel faint/ dizzy sometimes on an infrequent but regular basis. usually happens when im walking or making fast movements. Yesterday it came even when i was just being still. man... sometimes i wonder what my screwed up body is doing to me.
i hate pills.... HATE them! you know what iron pills taste like? at first bite, nothing much (like charcoal pill) but the taste get more metallic when the chewed pieces do not go down the throat with the water. icky.
but anyway... just thankful that i can get to blog a little... my bro 21st bday party was a great success but i guess i overexerted myself playing/taking care of my little cousins and nephews which was partly the reason for my low blood pressure...
JL! you have really grown up, more mature than i would expect. i am both humbled at your growth as well as impressed. If wishes are as simple as blowing candles... i will wish for you money, fame, wisdom, luck, all sorts of good things that everyone will wish for. But sadly, that aint the case eh? So, here is me- ur sister, praying that each year see you becoming a better person... rem that good, up-righteous character takes years to built and only a sec to destroy. our family loves you!
another vid that i love... esmee denters (there is something special in this vid! watch to the end k!)
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Music therapy
Esmee Denters - Dance with my father - a beautiful slow song...
i think i am getting better.. it is easiler to turn a blind eye and my emotions and feelings are getting dull... this is a sign of recovery rite?
Part 4 - feeling horrid
im so thankful for my cus.... spent a long time with her after my Co. Day Event at Sentosa... we talked for hours!!! and ate so much!!!! hahaha. im so glad that i had her yesterday... was desperate for some1 to talk to... to keep my mind off other matters!
but i cant be surrounded with people all the time... yes, work is crazy... but i really find it difficult to concentrate on it... (only when i am home) in office, im fine. think i will coop myself in office on Monday...(this actually make me feel good... sheesh)
Still spending uncontrollably... scary i know but it makes me feel so good! :)
trying to drown myself in books. i know it is a temp. solution - finish all my books already... shucks.. like a drug they are to me.. replacing you. but when the aftermath breaks... it is like a crash and burn time... like now.
it is V day all over... i saw the flowers, the candies... the couples with litter the street and i feel... jealous? No. More like empty... needing. hate this weak side of me... haiz. i know im stronger than that. I have to be. i need to be sane!
dear god, please, please dun let me turn into a monster, who scorn at love and everything good and wonderful. dun let me belittle the love out there, dun let me lose faith in the good in the world. teach me to see beyond my hurt, beyond my scars and breathe into me, the clean and the pure. give me another day, a new start. bring me up to speed, put me back on path.. and place angels in life as you did before... and make me believe once again that love awaits around the corner... yours and the someone you have planned for me.
Beautiful rendition by Esmee Denters
but i cant be surrounded with people all the time... yes, work is crazy... but i really find it difficult to concentrate on it... (only when i am home) in office, im fine. think i will coop myself in office on Monday...(this actually make me feel good... sheesh)
Still spending uncontrollably... scary i know but it makes me feel so good! :)
trying to drown myself in books. i know it is a temp. solution - finish all my books already... shucks.. like a drug they are to me.. replacing you. but when the aftermath breaks... it is like a crash and burn time... like now.
it is V day all over... i saw the flowers, the candies... the couples with litter the street and i feel... jealous? No. More like empty... needing. hate this weak side of me... haiz. i know im stronger than that. I have to be. i need to be sane!
dear god, please, please dun let me turn into a monster, who scorn at love and everything good and wonderful. dun let me belittle the love out there, dun let me lose faith in the good in the world. teach me to see beyond my hurt, beyond my scars and breathe into me, the clean and the pure. give me another day, a new start. bring me up to speed, put me back on path.. and place angels in life as you did before... and make me believe once again that love awaits around the corner... yours and the someone you have planned for me.
Beautiful rendition by Esmee Denters
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Over You.
....
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.
...
Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know. (bare teeth)
....
Over you? No, i dont think so yet... but soon...
Nolly shared this little technique with me... haha... listening to Daughtry's Over You... and maybe i will feel the sadness turn quickly to angst... is that a good thing? No idea! haha...
Anyways... my bday is coming!!! (Happy)
I have already decided that it will be a great bday because i will be Pampering myself... hahaha
my bday package should include:
The Sims3!!!!!! woo hooo!!!!!
Upgrade my processor so i can play the above!!!!
Eclipse!!! yep... finish round 1 cant wait for round 2!!! haha
MP3!!!!! yes yes i wan another ipod... (going crazy)
clothes!!!
Shoes aglore!!!!
hm... ok i think it will be these items for now.. till i cant think of something else i guess...
Anyway tmr will be a cool day... going for a uber cool dinner at Marina Square... Shanghai theme... but i will be dressed like a teacher (eeek!!!) (well, my cousins say i look like a teacher in my white cheong sam.... shucks... dun noe what with me and white color clothings). hope i dun look too much like a teacher... so nerd!
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.
...
Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know. (bare teeth)
....
Over you? No, i dont think so yet... but soon...
Nolly shared this little technique with me... haha... listening to Daughtry's Over You... and maybe i will feel the sadness turn quickly to angst... is that a good thing? No idea! haha...
Anyways... my bday is coming!!! (Happy)
I have already decided that it will be a great bday because i will be Pampering myself... hahaha
my bday package should include:
The Sims3!!!!!! woo hooo!!!!!
Upgrade my processor so i can play the above!!!!
Eclipse!!! yep... finish round 1 cant wait for round 2!!! haha
MP3!!!!! yes yes i wan another ipod... (going crazy)
clothes!!!
Shoes aglore!!!!
hm... ok i think it will be these items for now.. till i cant think of something else i guess...
Anyway tmr will be a cool day... going for a uber cool dinner at Marina Square... Shanghai theme... but i will be dressed like a teacher (eeek!!!) (well, my cousins say i look like a teacher in my white cheong sam.... shucks... dun noe what with me and white color clothings). hope i dun look too much like a teacher... so nerd!
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