when good for him is no longer good for us

what happens then?

it is useless to wish that such a senario never happen. So, i guess i just have to accept it and make sure that when that time comes i will do what is good for him. Because, at this point and i think that point in time... that (good for him) will still come before what is good for us.

totally pointless to talk about what is good for me. because that (good for me) is what i make of it. if it does not come into existance, it will be because i did not work for it. and if that does come into existance, well, i deserve it.

i know i stack reason after reason, and excuses and far-fetch stories when i ran out of reasons to convince you not to go. they are negative and gloomy but i hope you can find it in your heart to hear them because they are my insecurities dressed-up.

early?

it must seem a little early to talk about achievements and the yet to be achieves. Too early still, since my birthday (and that is when people get a little more cranky and way too deep to be of any good to themselves) is only arriving in when Feb is half month old.

tell me about your achievements and what you yearn to achieve in your life. tell me what is the best part of achieving. is it the celebration after, and the satisfaction of proving yourself? Or something greater?

tell me, did your satisfaction cause someone's sorrow? No? think deeper.
tell me, did your satisfaction's meaning last longer than a day? a week? a month?

the things in life, we get satisfaction from is sadly very material and all so temperance. taking aside the fact that it is more often than not a cause of someone else's misery, it is still a stumbling block to our minds and heart.

How many of us can see through the webs of deceit wovened by society, thicken by lies massaged by time and human error into values spread from parent to child? how many of us pray at the shrine of merit and think that cleverness is a virtue greater than any other?

sure, smarts and cleverness will bring you greatness, get you far in life and guarantee that you sleep in a bed of wads of cash. but when the party ends, and your friends leave, do they bring along their rubbish? Do they leave you in a cold?

When will people realised that the only thing worth pursuing in life is the better-ment of ones own character and helping other realised that?

is it early? no.
it is most likely late.
when will you achieve it?

It has been a while.

My boyfriend commented that i have been neglecting my blog sphere journal. When he brought that up, i know it was a golden moment - rare and alarming. :) Normally, i will have to drop him verbal nudge when i update to inform him to read. I was busy, really busy. Busy with work. I guess, that covers all and explains all right? :) I know it is a terrible excuse but it is truly the culprit.

Fortunately, work is still refreshing and engaging, my colleagues - a blast! So, despite the hectic schedules and heavy workload.... i am happy. most of the time that is.

my relationship is moving along in a steady matter but slowly... it is a long story, one that i rather tell in cold winter nights to my grandchildren to lull them to sleep... so lets keep our fingers cross on that.

So, as my comeback topic. I would like to plagiarize the subject from my friends- whom i believe are good research grounds... (drum rolls.... )

Branded Goods - Bags esp.
As a working adult (Wow!), (WOW.... sorry, i couldn't get pass that... lol) i have the income to pursue branded goods. For me, the most tempting ones would be bags, but so far... i have not owned any yet (referring to Burberry, Gucci, Agnes B, LV etc etc.). it is not that i am unmoved by these prestigious names and their exquisite designs, but that i have different priorities.
Namely, clearing my debt, signing up for fitness classes, taking up insurances, going for holidays... i have always believe that memories and experiences are more valuable than material goods. Thus, i have been making decisions true to my values. every time i walk by the enticing window displays and hear about people talking about their collection, my hands will itch, i will suddenly feel a strong tug at my heart. But i cant. i will not! Because i have promised to pay back my debts first. And i will stick to that.

I am actually quite happy that i can stick to this. And have for some time now. It makes me feel good to know that i am strong. That i will not give up for something that i believe in without a fight! Rah!

must to quick

Internet connection is down again... highly suspicious since my bro just came home... maybe it works only with 2 comp.s running at a time.. so the 3rd trigger the connection problem.

feeling ill... sickly... rushing to the toilet more and more often... really shity...

kk gtg

New Year Message by me

Jan the first, marks the end of another year-2008. A year which was totally different from the others.... though i am glad that i have again come a full circle.... another new year's day spent with friends (at least in the wee hours)... mom is Genting (somewhere i just came back from)... dad working at the stall... brothers... somewhere else...

we are never a family tightly knitted in physical sense but meters, yards, miles apart do not testify to the strengths/ lack of family bond...

half of 2008 for me was spent away from my family... but i have not felt that my relationship with them changed... i guess this reflects the saying that "blood is thicker than water" and harder to clean off if stained... haha..

i dun noe if i can say the same about my relationship with my bf... that has changed a lot... but now currently, i can say that it was for the best.

Honey, we have undergone, overcame so much... and i think both you and i realised that in the end... it is just about us - the 2 of us... i have laid my heart at your feet... and i have trusted you, eyes opened, eyes closed because isnt that the only way to trust... to not hold back but to leap blindly like how God ask of me. i cannot know (100% know) that you are not lying... are not keeping secrets... that you are not putting the same 100% love, trust etc etc into our relationship... geez im not god... but what i can do is to believe you. and i do.

as the year is over.... so are all my misgivings and distrust.. i definitely will not forget the things that has happened.... they have been cruel and evil but they have all led you and i to a better position and made us that much wiser and stronger... in our character and emotionally.

man cannot put a stop to time... but we sure can make use of it... to not waste it... and that would mean to squeeze it for all its worth... to absorb all we can learn as it flows... for 1 thing... it is the only fair thing in life... that everyone lives in the constrain of time... we do not get extra minutes even if we are some big shot/ rich kid... it is true some of us live longer... and others shorter.... but as we live.... we all have the same number of hours in a day.

and with that, i hope you (my Quek Yi Hui) as well as everyone else.... make the most of the time of your lives.... have a great, productive, OOOOUT OF THIS WORLD 2009!