my mother's place

my mother never told me the burdens she carries. how, despite how hard she works she worries that our family does not have enough. she never hints to me how challenging it is to carry her responsibilities as an employee and yet holds on to her values of looking after the family. she always makes it seems so easy, so obtainable, in fact, so part of life that it is possible to be more than wonderwoman.. i mean wonderwoman doesnt have a family, no kids... no husband...

i remember clearly, the interview i had before i was admitted to SMU... there is a question by the panel of interviewers about woman in corporate fields... they asked about how profitable it is for a company to hire women... they asked how profitable it is for a family to sent their daughters to higher learning, and how profitable that is for the country... and i was shocked and appalled that they dare question me on this seemingly 'duh' question! of cos it is profitable, of cos it is valuable, of cos it is an investment, OF COS IT IS WORTH IT...

it is all about equality of the genders, of meritocracy, of not wasting what little talent we (Singaporeans) have and then, some more. But, it is also about economy, it is also about returns and contribution esp. in the corporate arena...

one day... i may have to make a choice... or maybe it would be more accurate to call it a sacrifice, but i will have to face it. like all the women who have came before me and made theirs.

i have a higher calling, one that throughout the history of time has been passed down from mother to daughter. i am tasked to put my family above myself... and i am tasked to put aside my own ambition for the good of my children. this is not something just unique to woman... in fact it is the same for man. The only critical difference is this, in putting family first, man finds greater need to work and excel in their career. sadly, that isnt the case for woman unless of cos, there is no man in the family.

I feel so bad, so freakishly sad... that most women are forced to this corner and had no choice but to give up on 1 or the other. but i also take heart, that there are women out there who can and have managed both. my mother is one... she didnt always have it all... but she has persevered, and she is now greater than wonderwoman. yes, one day, i may have to face this age old question, but i must ensure, that if there is anyway, any other possibility, i would always choose to have the best of both worlds!

But if there is no other alternatives, and it is a choice between work or family, then it is not a choice for me at all.

Having highly educated and productive women in corporate sector is good, the returns on that investment is measurable. But having highly educated and productive women as homemakers, grooming the future leaders that is as good, if not better, would you agree?